...date with ahchai...

...i had a date with ahchai yesterday. it was something that i promised ahchai quite sometime ago that i will have coffee with ahchai. promised to have a coffee talk and chat the whole nite without boundaries. yea, we got our icelemontea talk about life. it was an interesting ice lemon tea talk we had. i totally enjoyed our chat. fabulous time with ahchai.

many things came about during our ice lemon tea session; particularly about trusting people and helping people. and coincidently when i got home after the dinner i pick up a book about trust and read this line from the book which just struck me:
what is trust? how do you know when to trust? and the answer was, you know it when you feel it. trust simply means having confidence. and how true that was. you will know it when you feel it. ahchai is definitely a feeling person. and i know ahchai is able to feel the trust building in him...

...friends4life...

...i have been with incovar for more than 24camps already. been to every single one of the camp. never missed a single one. participants of 6 continuous camps, programmer for another 6 continuous camps, exco for another n-number of continuous camps, advisor for another n-number of continuous camps and now father for the past camp. one:made me proud, two:indeed honoured and three:indeed inspiring just to be here. am so glad i am still with you guys. indeed, its friends for life, amigos para siempre.

come and be part of the amazing family of incovar. because at incovar, we inspire...

...happy birthday wh...

...to a dear friend i got to know from my 8IDC from tarc then transferred to upm. happy birthday WH. lets meetup for dinner soon...

- HAPPY BIRTHDAY -

...beauty and the beast...

...beauty and the beast : the broadway musical. ravishly beautiful show. spectacular. amazingly farnee at times. beast was super not as big as i imagine it to be. salt and pepper, napkins and cutleries. teapot and cup, candlestick and feather duster. and the tick off clock. all danced gracefully on stage for dinner. belle had a great dinner. beast was depress over belle.

admidst the melodious singing and beautifully sculptured movements and hand gestures and ticklish presentation, tick off clock shot the beast with : so what are you afraid of? what are you afraid of? suddenly it hit me to ask this question, what are you afraid of then? somehow i am so afraid that makes the butterfly starts to fly all over.

but i am glad to spend the nite in the land of fairy tales with one sugarcube; two forks and three spoons. i am so happy to see fork and spoon shining brightly on stage and dancing gracefully.

drove jt home after the show and reached home just after 1.15am. woah, super sleepy and tired. pemikiranku makin pudar...

...pemikiran cetek...

...pertemuanku dengan seorang budak cetek hari ini memang memberangsangkan. sekalipun kami hanya berborak panjang memanjang akan topik yang memang kurang diminati ramai; iaitu berkenaan dengan batu permata dan kareer masa depan; tapi saya rasa borak-borak kita ini amat memaanfatkan semua dan dapat mencetuskan pemikiran kita yang selama ini dikatakan cetek. kareer masa depan sememangnya susah untuk diramal. ditambah pula dengan pemikiran yang cetek tidak mungkin dapat memperbetulkan situasi sekarang. namun dengan hati yang tekad dan pemikiran yang kian berubah, pastinya saya tahu yang budak cetek ini akan menjadi seorang dewasa yang berkebolehan serba boleh. tinggalkan pemikiran cetek di laman dan teruskan berusaha untuk mencapai cita-cita anda. sekiranya tangki separuh kosong sahaja yang boleh nampak, sila tukar cermin mata supaya tangki separuh penuh dapat dilihat sekali lagi. pemandangan separuh penuh sememangnya menakjubkan semua. andainya kamu dapat lihat. pertemuan kami berakhir dengan satu dozen coke+icelemontea dan ayam satu ekor. secetek-cetek pemikiran kami akhirnya dapat jugak memperbetulkan situasi ini 5jam berterusan...

...you have a problem?...

...amazing how my sg trip went. just like that and its over. but something happened on my way there. two sms-ed and i'moverwhelmed with kamtoongness. its so amazing.

back to sg. sometimes i wonder how insignificant can i be. ignorance is bliss then. which translates to dkdcdb.dunno duncare dunbother. i do understand. but i just dont care. you have a problem with that?...

...meet new, reconnect old...

...yay, finally tickets are ready and posters are done. all kau tim. after so many days of sleepless nite and constipated mind that suddenly decided not to churn out ideas. and my lack of skills in illustrator doesnt really make it easier on me. to make it worst i got toothache. and i have never visited the dentist ever. and jt laughed at me for tht.

yes. finally. with the help of weiloong and xiaothoong and allex with mj who came to help cut the tickets and compile them into booklets and distribute to our super yau yeng dnd sales team to sell. and they commited more than 10 tables all together. super yau yeng. anyway, i am so tired. so sleepy. toothache getting worst and just got off the phone with jt. gonna get some sleep before my singapore trip tomorrow morning. blardy hell, my tooth still hurts.

so, all incovarians, all who have attended incovar before. all who have helped us in anyway before, make sure you get a seat ya. can contact me directly. mebbe who knows i give you all some freebies and surprises then. come, make new friends, reconnect with the old friends and enlarge your circle of kalyana mitras. because at incovar, we inspire...

...incovar rawks...

...yay...

...yay...

...wiff weekends...

...i wiff-ed around for the weekends. i wiff-ed nothing up for the posters design. though i did wiff-ed something for the ticket design. just wiff-ed up the concept and idea. the weekend was wiff-ingly full of activities. i wiff-ed thru the 2 days with tonnes of wiff-ed up ideas with a wiff-ingly unclear objectives.

arghh, its just wiff-ing the weekends which ended up being wiff-ed in to sukhihotu as a wiff staff that met four times his target and a free dinner. also wiff-ed into counting dollars and cents and ensuring money is safe in the wiff box. grateful for jt and dn who came for the rescue to be the part time model for wiff. both have wiff-ingly gorgeous pose with big wiff teeth. not forgetting the wiff-ing dhamma talk by our bhante who constantly sprinkles virtual blessing water on us. with a clear mind and calm pose and a head full of dhammas from bhante, the wiff-ing weekend has been wiff-ingly awesome...

...one.two.three...

...one problem solve, two made a bet and three just got mettaed...

...zero degrees...

...sometimes or rather most of the time it takes me ages to come out with a design. usually my incovar datelines are never met. when it comes to design, somehow i can never come out with a design by snapping my fingers. the guardian angel must be on leave all the time. shucks. permanent leave. ideas are hard to come by. lacking in illust and photoshop skills doesnt make it any easier on me. haih, what if i get 30hours a day? the additional 4 hours is to compensate on the idea generating conceptualizing and feeling time. shucks. dream on ler.

anyway, here goes with the zero design. zero huh! that means i gotta come out with something more conceptual. and extraordinary. but heck, its an invitation to all. yes you all incovarians are invited. its gonna be something special. its gonna be something unique. its just different. be surprised with our incovar experience. watch out for my first design with prizes to giveaway. wakakaz...

...because at incovar, we inspire...

...taruh-ing with metta...

...somewhere between checkpoint.1 @ leisure mall and checkpoint.5 @ home i detoured to checkpoint.3 @ one-step to help dn download some stuff. somewhere in between the 5 checkpoints, i was lost and misaligned. i needed the map to guide my way. i did find my way. but poor thing, someone has to paved 1.3km on foot to checkpoint 4 to get wifi. but upon taking the long walk along the dark and quiet road with a 3k notebook behind his back, kl@wireless was so down. i would have cursed the hell out of the whole community of kl@wireless for such farking services. cc was next door but duh cc do not have the facility to download to ur pendrive. farked the services there. since it is only one-step away, i drove over to pinjam the cube to him for a quick download. all done within minutes. and we started chatting away with me in the car. i told him i just taruh someone. wakakaz.

then he taruh me back. mer i know how to taruh people one arr? do i have it in me to taruh. do i know what taruh-ing is all about? am i that bad in the art of taruh-ing? suddenly a bit stunt cos yea he is so dem right. i dunno how to taruh people. and i cant find myself to taruh anyone. its just me and my lack of taruh side. but he can taruh. no matter how much he taruh he did it with a good heart and overloaded metta.

may the map be your guiding light...

...its just different...

...is it that difficult for us to break out break free and break beyond the normal thinking and do something that is outright different that can call ourselves unique. mebbe it is difficult to be different. yea, its just the expression of my individual inspiration.

the incovar culture will be the overall concept for the dinner. the incovar experience is what we want to bring out. the incovar friends are whom we want to connect. the incovar whispers from the heart that we want to hear, the incovar look and feel is what we want to have. thats right! welcome to the incovar dinner and dance 2008. redefining uniqueness recreating inspiration...

...0846...

...8.46pm. monday. @starbucks now. shucks. i got a call. and i am so worried now...

...movie marathon @ wiff...

…watched 4 movies in 4 different languages during the weekend. amazing weekend. and spent my time volunteering with wiff. wiifm in wiff? wakakaz. wesak international film festival : wiff held from 14-june-08 to 22-june-08 at the malaysia tourism centre : mtc in jalan ampang.

a very memorable weekend and so happens it was fathers day weekend. was with dn on sat and we watched 3 movies. totally awesome shows with great values to learn from. i secretly cried throughout 3 movies i watched. couldn’t help to contain my tears. i knew it for myself that i sure to get into this kind of mood very easily one. shucks, i didn’t know the simplest form of action in these movies can make me cry. the time when angulimala mother runs frantically in search for his son and protect him from the evil, the time ven ji-ran was splashed with cold cold water by the japanese to protect the people under his care and when gil-son died in the cold cold winter when he was chanting infront of guan-yin. ya i did cried in more than just these few occasions. synopsis of the movies. the fourth movie was actually a docu.

jt came on sunday to join us. did not have ty around. somehow it wasnt the same. i had a great fathers day dinner; having packed chicken rice from klcc. simple things in life!

4 movies. 4 languages. all international film with buddhist values. and i am thankful that i have these good virtues to live by. because at incovar, we inspire…

...happy bapak's day...

...happy father's day...

my 3 sons wished me happy fathers day and i had the most enjoyable time/chat with them today. from coffee talk to klcc talk and mobile talk. ahh, indeed the moment was wondrous...
ky and kp send their wishes too. duh it was ky's birthday!!!...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KENGYAN

...truly exceptional...

...a delightful book full of tales of hope, love, forgiveness, freedom from fear, and overcoming pain which cleverly relates the timeless wisdom and the true path to happiness. in this collection of teaching stories are many true-to-life tales, which are used to launch a deeper exposition of mindfulness, wisdom, love and compassion...

...indeed this book has launched hundreds of ships and have touched thousands of lives. it certainly has touched mine. i first passed the book to ty and indeed he has benefitted from it alot. then ty passed it over to jt and it has been his closest companian next to his guardian angel that accompanies him whereever he goes. considering jt does not read even the newspaper!!! the stories are inspiring and the tales are truly rewarding.

i have also passed a copy to a ys; someone who has enlighten me in many areas of life and given me the courage to move on. weird! only met him once but instantly felt the connection with him. hope the book brings as much happiness to him as it was to me and jt. the book has been a great gift: like the blue ribbon that i started many years ago in bangkok - you made a difference in my life, this book brings the message of you have truly been exceptional. loon got it and is reading it i hope...

...my small table...

...arghh...stupid table...so small. so tight......the table is so small so tight so irritatingly reduced in size. cant stand it. but at least i have a corner lot which gives me so much freedom and less irritation from the noisy surroundings. and ah..i have my charming little earphone to keep me focused. nah, THIS TOO SHALL PASS as what ty told me over and over again. yea, this too shall pass. thanks ty...

...yumcharing...

...today is the first day officially we moved in to the old office with new arrangements and new furniture. first impression was omfg, dem crowded dem small dem farking close. and worst of all dem farking hot in the room. arghh...i gotta move around. still cant get use to the small small space yet. while fighthing with my neighbour for space and trying to block him from looking at me not working but blogging (all the partitions have been removed so i used table calendar to cover my screen) i try to get adjusted to the smaller working environment. dem shucks. its still small. no matter if i look at it from top, side bottom left - its still blardy small. and i hated it. i hated the design. i hated the environment. i hated a place without window.

while hating and complaining in my small gas heart, i came to realise that at least i still have a job and i am still surviving and i have my sons. what could be better then? yea, sky sms me if i have time for dinner. why not. i dont have any dinner arrangements tonite. so i agreed. we agreed to meet at the restaurant of our first love of nan and chicken tandoori. been so long i have not size up a conversation with him. known to be the chuen one, sky indeed talk alot during yumcharing. and indeed we had our pre-bitchclub dinner for the month of june already. i rather not go into what was bitched about as it may contain words that may be harmful and hurtful to the intended person. wakakaz. who cares anyway. its my bitching time. but one thing though, sky asked me if i have forgiven? i said yes. he didnt belief me at all. but i told him indeed yes. its a positive yes. how can? yes, because i can and i want to forgive, i forgive you...

...poontesiung...

...poon te siung is back. poon te siung is back. wow. its been so long. 3.5 years. he is back for holidays. goodness man. since the days back in iitc i have been chatting with this guy and asking when he will be back and when he is back i will buy him a big huge dinner. now he is back for a few days.

pick him up from his house to go yumchar. went and find daniel for yumchar. all the way to ara damansara. we chatted we complained we bitched. blardy hell, i really miss the old days mamaking with this fella. enjoying our incovar entreprising nature, making our own money and generating to the fund. meeting up every weekend we have. yumcharing and mamaking at tanjong. tonite all the memories just came flying back. i miss those days. great to see you again tesiung...

poontesiung is scheduled to fly off on 15th june 2008 at 8am; stopping over in hong kong. tesiung, really glad to meetup with you again. u didnt grow fat abit pun.gengz!!!...

...chicken ego:duck armour...

...i was on a long mobile chat last night - about communication with a friend called the ego. when we talk to ego, the only thing we get is defense. so, the best thing is to agree with ego and we will not get defense. with the armour down and ego gone, communication can be so much easier. which indirectly relates to what no3 was asking me yesterday about supporting statements to his english class. it sounded something like; when we are with friends, we can talk easily and able to talk freely without much stress. talking with friends is not stressful because we can share ideas and able to communicate effectively.

little did i realise that it became the title of this post. because ego is not our friend, our communication becomes hard. lets not let our ego to do the talking. however if we are in the presence of good friends, true friends, beautiful friends : then ego will come as a friend. the presence of ego now becomes a trigger to make us realise and see things from another perpective. its complicated. maybe we can read the story which was adapted from a.brahm book.

...once there was a newly wed couple went for a walk together in the park on one fine summer evening after dinner. they were having so much fun time being together in the park until they heard a sound in the distance: “quack quack”listen, said the wife, “that must be a chicken”“no, no. that was a duck” said the husband.“no, no. i am sure that was a chicken,” she said.“impossible. chickens go cock-a-doodle-doo. ducks go quack quack. that’s a duck, dear he said with signs of irritation.“quack quack”, it went again.“see it is a duck”, he said.“no dear. that is a chicken. i am positive it is a chicken”, she asserted.“listen, wife. that is a duck. d-u-c-k. duck. got it?!” he said angrily.“but it’s a chicken”, she protested.and it went quack quack again.before he can say anything again, the wife was almost in tears, said, “that’s a chicken, dear”the husband saw the tears in her eyes welling up and suddenly remembered why he had married her. his face softened and he said gently, “sorry dear. i think you must be right. that is indeed a chicken”“thank you darling”, she said and they continued their journey in the park together again.quack quack, came the sound again through the woods as they continued their walk in the park together holding their hands even tighter.

-------------------------------------------------------------

the moral of the story is that, who cares whether it is a chicken or a duck? it is not important to bother if that was a chicken or a duck. but what is more important is their harmony together; that they could enjoy the fine summer evening together walking in the park. when we remember the story, we will remember our passion in life. what are our passion here? it’s more important to have a wonderful walk in the park together with peace and quiet than to have an argument over chicken and duck. how many of us always argue over chicken and duck issues? how many of us have gone thru many separations because of chicken and duck issues? how many of us do remember our passion or goals than to fight over chicken and duck issues. more importantly, how many of us are able to say i am sorry just to get over the chicken and duck issues and have a journey together, building a greater foundation and solid environment.

the most difficult word to say is i am sorry. the toughest thing to do is to give in.if we can remember our passion and understand the nature of life, we can enjoy a walk in the park happily and everyone else happy. who cares if it is a chicken or a duck anyway...

...its complicated...

...the weekend started with a blast of looking-forward, wanting to spend as much time as possible with the people i care. somehow something happened. something not so encouraging. it just saddened me. we went home with a heavy heart. things are so complicated...

...29IDC video...

...the more i look at the video, the more it makes me wanna shed tears : tears of joy. the song reminds me so much of my past memories. it is also one of the reason how this blog was started and got its name. my 3 boys really did it. chose the right song that made me remember back all my past and cherishing the great moments that we currently share now. yes, its a wonderful journey and if we hold on together, we are able to make things happen. to all the committee, facilitators, helpers, warden, asst wardens, time keeper and all the wonderful participants : lets walk the tides of change together and embrace each other to face the challenging future. its all about us making a difference.

presenting the 29IDC video compilation. MEtz team did it great...

...jammed wednesday...

...song called me to inform me of the petrol hike thingy. wakakaz. he told me to immediately check nstonline for more information. i was like serious arr? the first thing that came to mind was : shit heavy traffic jam again. shit and its raining cats and dogs at that moment. double whammie. and i was on my way to have dinner with my boss. bangsar seafood restaurant. wakakaz.

while waiting for dinner to be served, i had a long conversation with no3. things seems to be so complicated. a decision was made. it was tough. it was not something to look forward to. but a decision has to come to end the complicated pain in life. no1 called me later and stalked the phone. his sms sounded like a tsunami that is going to hit. i had to call no2 just know if everything is alright. my nite at the dining table was spent on the phone and my colleagues asked what is this fella doing with so many phone calls!!! i just smiled back and told them it was family matters. wakakaz.

this week has been so unconventional. so many changes. so many choices to be made. so difficult. and that is what makes it even more interesting. after the camp, now i finally realise and saw the ever changing of tides and how i have consciously walked the tides of change itself. change is inevitable, regardless good or bad, despite happiness or dissatisfaction; change and its impact are matter of perception. its how we choose which side of the paper to see. i chose to not to merely stand and see the both side, but to visualize both sides of the paper and feel its texture...

...random tuesday...

...it was tuesday. everything happened so fast. monday was gone with not much things happening. i enjoyed my first dinner at home after a long long silence away from home. things has been so hectic lately. i always admire loon; for he has his time management conquered so well and consistent that he occasionally goes home for dinner and his little box of bread to work daily which he ended up providing free breakfast or free tea time to the people around him. and i was one of the receiver of his glorified little box of bread. salute to u ol'fren. however, i am so not the same at all.

anyway, it was tuesday and elsf suggested we go for a sumptuos dinner at holiday villa; a buffet dinner that cos rm45++ and we get to enjoy the buffet from 5different restaurant; from japanese, italian, chinese, asian fusion and international we conquered every single one of the restaurant. some targetted japanese, while a few were looking forward to italian. but all of us ended up enjoying the thai tomyam! malaysian people are we! anyway, the makan makan cost us a bomb but we went home having a bulged belly and a stomach full of water.

the nite has been with lots of stress releasing and bitch-a-round session; which we ended up in the chinese restaurant for the bitching. chinese we all are, we love the round table concept in the chinese dining. makes it so much easier to cakap cakap during the makan makan. i am so full that nite that i tripped and fell. and my knee still hurts now. dem embarassing. mj stood there and laughed! aiyoh!!!

ended the nite with a super long conversation on the phone with no1. life is indeed complicated...

...problem = sign of life...

...jc was telling us that problem is a sign of life. if there is no problem, there is no life. with this one statement, he managed to capture the heart of the participants. my gawd, how creative to put forth the first noble truth.

after the camp, some participants may say they love the mamak session and some say they seriously adore the talk session. but no matter how many sessions there were, they only remember the 15 minutes session with with jc. they say the 15minutes were the best session ever. my gawd, no dhamma speaker can beat jc's 15minutes of fame.

if we can't see that problem is a sign of life, then all of us would not be here and we would have joined the new country; one country one nation. all quiet. no communication. jc did a great dhamma sharing. wakakaz...

...cRAVeFOUR my sleep...

…i am so over exhausted. i nearly kissed the ass of the wira infront of me on my way home after sending no2 back to setapak. it was just passed midnite. and i was seriously lacking of sleep and lack of concentration. heck, i don’t even remember what i was talking or saying when my no2 asked me questions. probably he notices that when my answers does not match his questions, he stopped asking. i need my sleep. i drove as fast as i could in my white proton and trying to reach home via the shortest route in the shortest time ever. i was dead tired and exhausted.

after dinner last nite at f4, i drove no3 back to kk, then dropped off no1 in nilai and on my way back to setapak, dropped off mervin at bangi. on the way mer? i was asked by mervin, lou-tau nilai to setapak, bangi on the way mer? have to make a turn inside one worr? have to pay toll again one worr? i told him that, its okler. just a small turn. then he said, wah this lou-tau travelled all over selangor to send people back. its something small that this lou-tau can do ler. just lucky no accident after sending no2 back. with my 3 sons growing bigger and bigger everyday; i need a bigger car now. have to aspire to inspire for the aspiration to get a bigger car…