...letting.go...

...letting go is so much easier...

...sore.throat...

...arghh. finally. got myself out of bed and went and see the doctor in the morning. my head is spinning, my heart is drumming fast. and my hands are trembling. i am so sleepy after taking the pills. so dem wan to sleep. and i have to submit my gantt chart tmr. darn. my throat is still killin me...

...dkdcdb...

...dkdcdb...

...dkdcdb...

...dkdcdb...

...dkdcdb...

...dkdcdb...

...dkdcdb...

...dkdcdb...

...dkdcdb...

...couldnt see the light...

...heavy rain...

...clouded vision...

...no clear skyline...

...dark clouds...

...fever...

...sore throat...

...cold summer...

...how do i smile again...

...in the cold freezing summer?

staring at my gantt chart. not sure how to proceed. so many things to put in. so many uncertainties. trying hard to make it make sense. but the gantt chart is as meaningful as what i put in. hmm, i think i am pretty duh now. so hard to concentrate with the sore throat.

had a long Y! chat with a fren. something interesting popped out.

if i am the only one complaning, then its my fault. but if everyone else is complaning, then i dont think its my fault already.

wakakaz. true mar.

...dkdcdb...

...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...
...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...
...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...
...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...
...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...

...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...
...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...
...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...
...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...
...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...

...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...
...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...
...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...
...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...
...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...dkdcdb...

...friday the 13th revisited...

...sorethroat. fever. meetings. progress update meeting. espkm, tms and ewallet. why all 3 come at the same time same place same day. after arriving back to office from malacca at about 7pm, got a call from vp and we talked over the phone for more than half and hour. got some really bad news and good news. but of course the bad news? as expected - just turned on my dkdcdb mode.

stayed back in the office till late working on my progress update meeting and at the same time testing out the schema for malacca site with wt. being not so healthy at the moment, i needed a break. didnt realise friday is gonna be a bad day and so many things to do. my fever is inching in and throat is getting very dry.

meeting? went well, i hope. no scolding. no stabbing. no accusation. but of course, it was a relief that the whole worrying finally came to an end. outcome of the meeting? alot of things to complete. many things to close up. espkm presentation is required to jpk's kp but nobody knows the system. i cant do it. vp gotta allocate resources. bugs to fix before the project closure. vp gotta find resources since i was promised contracts and will sure to get one worr. dkdcdb! tms outcome? a long way to go before closure. too many things to do. but expectations handled. clients ok. cos i have lots of value added service up my sleeves for them. at least can cover a little.

reached back office. hoping to have a better afternoon. but, noooooo. call this person, that person to arrange for the linux thingy. that person ask me to call this person. and this person ask me to call that person. this person not free. that person cannot make decision. this person not sure how. wtf. all indecisive bunch of creepy cralwers. at least one person came back and offered help sarcastically. its ok. he still helped. had a long talk with the e.d. hope he listens to my call for painkillers.

a friday full of heartache and headache. dry throat. running nose and cough chirping in. rudolph is gonna be so mad when he sees my nose!...

...out.of.office...

...2 days trip down south to malacca. visited my clients there to do some hotfixes and briefing session to assist them with their january enrolment session. of course, its part of the whole plan to push them into using the system in january and subsequently we can claim that, yes they went live in january and yes! we've got more than 10 of you going live.

tms team. the remaining 3 person. striving hard to make it work for all the site. while we were there, of course we gotta eat malaccan style food. chicken ball rice was too normal. wt and calvin ate it before. fastfood? nah. too boring. so i suggested, why not satay celup. and we were on our way. called pevin for directions. wakakaz. dunno why when i ended up in malacca, sure to call pevin. pevin directed us to the place. yea sure got lost a while but finally found the place.

calvin's first time with the celup thingy. wt ate it before somewhere. and of course i am having a bad sorethroat. we just ate and ate and ate. it was enjoying and fun. later we went rounding and checking out the nite life of malacca. headed back to the hotel late and turned on notebook to prepare for the next day. so many things to do. gosh. had a long chat with the guys and slept very very late. considering all the clouded vision and the heavy downpour back in the homeground. it was a nice 2 days get-out of office...

...dkdcdb...

...dkdcdb...

...dkdcdb...

...dkdcdb...

...dkdcdb...

...its pretty hard for a sanguine.choleric.melancholic guy to be on a dkdc mode. and what more dkdcdb. i just had to take a leave. being in redcap, it is exceptionally difficult to go through the entire ordeal.

i took up on an offer by success. success offered me a change of perspective. change of tv channel perhaps. i think its good that i accepted the offer which drove me crazily in the heavy rain all the way. having been stuck in the heavy downpour made me realises many things and showed me great determination to strive forward.

got a ring from my snr.mgr and he asked me where am i. i said, i had to move on. though the heavy rain is clouding my vision, but my redcap gave me the little push forward. forward to the higher ground where my vision will be clearer. hoping to see the clear sky twin towers, perhaps snap a picture of the perfect twins of perfect structure and stability...

...dkdcdb...

...dkdcdb...

...dkdc...

...dkdc...

...dkdc...

...dkdc...

...dkdc...

...dkdc...

...dkdc...

...dkdc...

...dkdc...

...dkdc...

...3210...

...my good fren got a new car. not so new already. just that i met up with him recently before my swinburne trip. and had a wonderful chat with him. still as cheerful as ever. really miss those memories of hanging out together chatting thru mcd and designing experiential learning activities that changes people's life. this guy has got the good potential. known him way back in 2001. i think. lost count of the years. my colleague at that time. somehow we clique so well. from colleague to a good fren and even helping out in buddhist activities, this fren never fails to visit the camp. glad to have met up with him...

...swinburne adventure...

...yes. again. i was asked to conduct the best business practice for swinburne university. not knowing the entire process in the enterprise version and only given a short notice, do i have a choice? yes i do. i was given the choice of either becoming the pm or the sa role here. if i chose to be the pm, then my snr pm would need to be the sa. and he has to conduct the bbp. wakakaz.

i had so much trouble understanding the system. i dont have the scope despite my many times of asking and enquiring. the right people could not give me the right information even though i asked many many times weeks before it. whats wrong with these people anyway. because i am not representing myself, i need to know what i do not know. i was only given 2 days to learn up the entire system, enter data and make sure everything is working fine. but of course, everything was not fine. nothing is fine. srm scope was not clear with lots of mising modules. sfm has lots of issues with the scholarship and 3rd party fees. sam was better of but creat job has some issues with sql2005 and nobody did anything to it until i voiced out. hostel was supposed to be good, but ended up too many errors and the linkage to finance module was severely damaged. there were just too many bugs in the system. but despite all the bugs, the best business practice session still have to go on.

yeap. i twisted my way through. i had to. wait. of course i have a choice. either to do it well or live with the errors produced by others and blame it on them and make a big wuha on the issues and screw ass. but of course the latter is not much of a teamwork isn't it. 5 days. 5 non-stop days i was worrying day in and day out of what to say and how to conduct the session. dreaming of what i should say and rehearse in the toilet my daily opening speech. sleepless nites thinking of how to make it more interesting and how to make it really best practises. it was really stressful. you cant show it to the customer, you cant screw people - no point anyway. you can only smile and laugh to the mistakes and hope for the best and get it fixed later.

5 days of excruciating pain and frustration. tough week. but survived it all. glad to be back or rather not glad at all. got a bow and arrow. thought it was a good present for myself and keep to my collection with the crossbow. but as i was approaching the checkin counter at the airport, i was afraid that it would be taken away and made a promise that if i ever got through, the arrow and bow will be given to wt. and of course, i got through. and it is now with him...

...swinburne...

...swinburne university. 6nov to 11nov...