...yes, i am very tired...

...almost 4 weeks since we all moved back from ciast. and how i feel about it? it sucks.

for almost one whole week, i have not have enuff sleep. its pretty tiring. and i am tired. so many sad things has happened within this short period of time and i dunno how to feel sad anymore. the most sad thing was one of my colleague leaving. it just caught me by surprise and i was really stunt tht time. i really do not know what to do. yes, i support him all the way for leaving. yes, i am glad he has found something that he wants to do. but, also yes, that will leave me with alot of problem. i cant say, its ok, cos its not ok. but, thats my problem to deal with, not his. so, i am happy for him leaving.

recently, i have been talking to another good colleague of mine. well, he is the only one i can trust talking to. i mentioned alot of things from my perspective of how things can be improve and how we can push things to go on. i am tired of how management handle things. yes, i am sure management knows about it. yes, i am so sure everyone knows the problem. but, also yes, they are not focus in solving this problem. solution? no! opportunity? plenty. i have plenty of opportunity here for the f* up company (as alex mention, look at opportunity in all the problems). if i dont even care, i will not even think about it. the fact is, i do care about it and i do want to make changes. i can be very vocal about all these, i will stand up to it if required. but, should i? there are just so many things to learn...

why is then management like that? this company has been hiring the wrong people to do the wrong thing. we have an hr manager 2 years ago, hoping she can bring some changes to the company. 2 years later and all we got was, reduced annual leave, more forms to fill in, and alot of red tapes and limited parking spaces. is this what we call good hr? why is management still not bothered about it. WRONG? NO. its correct. its valid from my perspective. and i beleive many share the same feelings with me. just me being too vocal about it.

someone send me this document. and i think its quite true...
"...Scorpio employees usually exude a quiet self-confidence. They
are self-sufficient and do not depend on others for a sense of
self-worth. They keep their private life separate from work and
take complete responsibility for their actions and their situation.
They don't make excuses; they just take care of business and
expect everyone else to do the same. Those who don't, co-
workers and managers- will have to endure the Scorpio wrath.

They don't mind being completely vocal about what they feel is
wrong with any given situation. And if you tread on their fire be
sure to expect retaliation. They won't take insults or opposition
lying down.

If you manage a Scorpio employee, be sure to follow through
with your word and don't break any promises-Scorpio is
keeping track and building up some heavy resentments
against you if you do. You may not even be aware of it until
too late-but when Scorpio gets too much, you'll be sure to
know.

Scorpio employees will react towards those around them
exactly as they are treated. When they get what they want,
they will be very accepting.

If you are trying to work with or motivate a Scorpio co-worker,
be sure to treat them respectfully and act professionally.
Give them challenging work that allows them to utilize their
awesome self-confidence and courage..."


but, you know what, despite all the things...I AM NOT GIVING UP YET!