...cny explosion...

...explosion of cny rantings. i love the peace and quiet of this time. no explosive bickering and bitching of relatives and family members...

...sometimes i dem blardy hate the cny advertisement shown on the tv. fcuk it. i totally fcuking blardy hate it. it is the only time the only advertisement that makes me shed the dem blardy tears from my eyes. 2008 cny i was alone at home figuring what it was like to be in kl after 33 years of celebrating cny in kuantan. i felt more relax and free home alone. i didnt regret a single bit of being in my hometown during cny. however i have made kuantan my so called hometown for the past 33 years. the advertisement didnt make it easier for me. 2007 pertonas advertisement first triggered my emotions by showcasing the old ladies talking about their children. i really hated my home as i didnt feel i belong there at all. 2008 petronas advertisement shows a little boy waiting for bus and going home to the orphanage. i totally scuked and fcuked myself as i have a home to go back to; however i didnt feel i belong home. thus my nature of staying out late and coming back to "the" room in the wee hours. i have a home. i didnt feel i belong there. 2009 petronas advertisement shows a man who hated everything the father did and annoying stuffs of a father; from the simplest no cockles in char kuay teow to singing karaoke. i totally hated to speak to the person whom i call mother. i totally cried when i saw all these ad on tv. it reminds me so much about how fcuking idiot i am. i fcuking hated the people i have at home. if i have the chance, the first thing i would do is to move out and get a place of my own. fcuked it. i cant bear another moment there. and fcuked it stupid petronas ad to bring me to the moment of time that i totally fcuking despise. happy cny to those around...