...just hanging around...

...bouncing back...

2010-03-12T02:57:00.000-08:00

...i guess its time for me to bounce back into action. for so many months, so many days and for the longest of time, i believe i have been stuck in time and not able to move on. i think it is time to bounce back and do something about it. i am determined to make a change...

...ohno! not again...

2009-10-12T07:30:00.000-07:00

...sometimes, at nite. i wonder. what the heck am i doing? and most of the time, the hour before i doze off to sleep, my mind will just fly here and there. reflecting and thinking. whats wrong with me? sometimes i dont even understand myself. but i do enjoy doing it. so glad i enjoyed every moment of it.

its those days when i dont understand what am i doing...

...history+geography...

2009-10-11T07:57:00.000-07:00

...do you think learning history can be rather boring? absolutely! yes. i totally do not like history. geography was more like my subject. getting to go places and travel to places on the world map is indeed, breathtaking! then when we combine history and geography, what do we get? two saturdays in a row i was in malacca with kokwai. as if nothing better to do. the trip was actually to plan for something team building program that i am supposed to run in a week's time. a team building to run around jonker's street to st paul's hill and hang li poh's well and bukit cina and all around malacca.

it was really exciting; where kokwai the so-called expert in treasure hunt and me the expert in experiential learning programs. and combining both of these experts; and what do you get? shopping time @jonkers. wakakaz. kokwai was busy snapping pictures and clues and places to be turned into clues and i was busy noting down the location of where kokwai took those pictures. both of us were walking around jonkers and me with a file and pen writing down notes on every few steps i took. its amazing how we have mapped out jonker street in a few hours; location of each of the store and what they sell and their pricing. wakakaz.

the night ended with a lovely chat over coffee with ah loon. been really long time since i have met this dear friend of mine. thinking back all those years. wakakaz...

...jabatan BOMB...

2009-10-06T10:55:00.000-07:00

...this picture was taken just outside my office. shucks! wth are they doing there?...

...diarrhea of the mouth...

2009-10-06T08:11:00.000-07:00

...i stuffed myself with so much food today that i was totally washed out when i reached home. why did i have to stuff myself with all those weird looking stuffs into my stomach; paying so high for it and spending tonnes of money for it and all it goes was direct passage thru my anal. and i must learn to be nice to people from now on.

i am suffering from diarrhea of the mouth. too much bitching news comes out from my mouth. mebbe its getting smellier by the day. darn. bitching. releasing frust. writing facebook messages. lunch bitching session. tea bitching session. msn bitching session. talk about life man. this disease gotta be cured soon man.

but somehow this disease has helped to discharge all the negative energy and let me regain back some positive energy. and i guess, i just had my biggest diarrhea just a couple of minutes ago in thru my anal passageway! i have already let it go by the big discharge. its satisfying when u have such big discharge. i am free now..my mouth stinks no more. darlie fresh! see me smile!...

...branding for xCITE!...

2009-10-03T08:59:00.001-07:00

...i have placed a series of ad about xCITE in facebook. and it has generated lots of feedback and curiosity. hmm, i hope the posters are working. and thanks to tzayeong for all the amazing poses. i believe his modelling career can just fly!...

...pretty xCITE! in bangkok...

2009-10-03T08:59:00.000-07:00

...the latest posters that i will post up soon. this shot was taken in bangkok bts where tzayeong was holding the bts ticket. i just thought it was really nice angle and everything just falls so nicely there...

...xperience xcitement...

2009-09-12T21:43:00.000-07:00

...xperience xcitement...

10.dec.09 to 13.dec.09

are you up for it

...ฉันรักกรุงเทพฯ...

2009-08-21T09:19:00.000-07:00

...พลาดกรุงเทพฯ. เพื่อความสุขไปกรุงเทพฯอีกครั้ง. ลาดเชื่อว่า. บินไปกรุงเทพฯพรุ่งนี้...

...sawadeekrab. bangkok here i come. wakakaz. i have not set foot in the new suvanarbhumi airport since it was opened. my last trip to bangkok was in april 2005. and yes. i am going to bangkok again. yay baby. *swinging my butt dancing* more news from bangkok later...

...colors of our lives...

2009-08-17T11:35:00.000-07:00

...picture was taken with my sgh e900 when i was in the states. it was a splurge; a trip of a lifetime and i was with fred. the picture is actually the ceiling of a hotel lobby; i think its the bellagio the famous hotel in vegas. oh vegas is marvellous. awesome array of lights and people. and the hotels architecture; i simply fell in love with vegas. astonishing.

the multitudes of shades and the colorful glass made the whole world so bright. if i had not looked up, i would not have seen this work of beauty. i totally love this shot. it reminds me of how beautiful our lives can be if we would just look up the sky and smile...

...triple happiness...

2009-08-16T13:10:00.000-07:00

...what the toot triple happiness is this? mcb. daniel and i thought of a dem good idea for the wedding video for ljs but duh the wife didnt like to be so kua cheong but i guess ljs love the idea and would follow our lead if not because of the wife. but who cares, since this couple dowan the idea will be kept a secret and will be revealed for our next client. wakakaz. so because the pictures given by ljs is not stim enough, we lost our motivation to do the video. i guess that explains the last minute. yea, seriously no mood liao. we didnt want it to be boring and certainly our names will be mentioned and definitely more than 300 pairs of eyes will be watching. must do a good job. but the source file is so pathetic. cant stand the sight of it and how la to do a good job? argh. daniel apa boleh buat? don care first la. leave it to last minute. wedding is on saturday. wednesday passed and thursday came knocking. still feeling pathetic. thursday nite was a difficult nite to sleep. and its friday! lunch passed without me noticing any work done. tea time came with some rojak session with colleague at the pantry. oh shit. mcb. its 5pm. daniel was having exams then. tzayeong called to send him the files for him to start work on another video. still no sign of the semangat to do the video yet. still stuck. still looking at the sky day dreaming.

gotta sms daniel. gotta sms daniel. 6pm. still no sign of motivation and no reply from daniel. cham. how? supposedly to meet jack to discuss about his business plan. lucky he cancelled. phew. cos sure not free one. call. call daniel now. sos. didnt pick up phone. omigod. mcb. mega die man. daniel, where are you ar? finally. at last. heart attack man. at last daniel called. calling for sos. wakakaz. picked him up. packed his stuffs. choose what shirt to wear. what color to match. at that particular moment, still no thougths yet on the video. don care la. dem hungry di. kenot think. drove to section 19 area eat banana leave rice; we got chicken and mutton and ice lemon tea and a stomach full of curry. stomach full. start video. sit down and do video. ya right. do video. we started chatting and cursing and gossiping and still no sign of idea yet. but we had lots of gossip news and farnee moments. song came also to pass us the camera and stuffs. how nice of him to loan us his baby. ok. now. still no mood. ljs arr, no mood to do arr. no inspiration. no motivation. argh. its already 10pm. chat and chat and talk and talk. still no inspiration yet. then the light came. ya right. as if got light. mebbe just excuses kua. cos we talked so big. most probably a pathetic idea. but how its already 11pm and still nothing yet. need something arr. heart already beating so dem fast.

ya right, the light shone on us. why not do the other way around. instead of young to old. we do old to young. something different. simple idea la. but different lor. knowing me. knowing daniel we dont settle for simple stuffs. we go for concepts. though we don have nice gears and we don have good softwares, but we have excellent brain and a good heart and a wonderful concept to build new things. our inspiration your excellence. but ljs ar, this time really no inspiration. really hope the video will turn out nice arr.

and after six hours and a nite without sleep, eyes bulging like cookie monster. body stinko like dung. aircond cold like shit. yay!finally kaotim; well almost all of it. packed. clean. shower and off we go to tzayeong's house to pick him up for our 2-days adventures with our cameras...

our itinerary:

saturday.15-aug-2009

cover jinsong's picking up his bride. lunch cover allexlim wife to be convocation. afternoon back to aarontan's house complete video for jinsong's wedding. this is where the tension comes again. there was daniel's video to finish compilation. and tzayeong's video of the morning session to complete. it was 4pm when daniel and i reach aarontan's place and tzayeong was still fiddling with picture no 1 and aarontan was still editing pictures. my gawd guys. we gotta leave at 530pm to the restaurant. still editing?

obviously the air was cold. i felt the chill in the hot summer afternoon up my spine and i suddenly shrugged a little like you just finished peeing kinda feel; up the hill overlooking cheras. the chilling coke and the cool aircond makes the air even more chilled. the hairs on my unshaved chin stood up. i nearly dieded there with aarontan mega die chillin air. tzayeong was tensed. daniel was sleepy. i was wipedout. i needed a ten minute nap. tzayeong was rubbing his cheek with his palm; that means red alert. but this fella seems to be able to work well beneath the tonnes of pressure while daniel is taking is easy on him too. both of these kids sure can perform well under the pressure cooker. but this bapak sure helluva mega heart attack with ljs on my back calling me every minute. stood strong till the last minute. of course we covered it well. the video was fantastic. the idea was excellent. everyone loved it. we enjoyed it.

sunday.16-aug-2009

morning cover allexlim registration of marriage. late. late. that was on my mind rushing to daniel's pv10. allexlim was constantly reminding me how late am i. but we are all tired. the nite before was absolutely one hundred percent exhausted. but we had to stop at 7-11 for coffee and milo. that was a thrill!. obviously very late. got at least ten calls from our dear fren who has cold feet kept reminding me about the time and kept forcing me to tell lies; every call is about where am i and i had to lie about my location, constantly adding abut 2km from where i am now. and the final call was too much km to add. we were just at the corner. an interesting rom i would say, totally like where got people do it so kua cheong one la. ini budak melampau la. ding dong ding dong all kao tim pictures taken and then lunch over at summit and back to allexlim home for more pictures and mingling.

wah seh. after all these. fcukingly tired man. mcb. kenot think liao. and to think of it. ya right triple happiness. the angpow received was awesome. the double angpow is certainly awesome man. wakakaz. that is what we call triple happiness. happiness from lack of sleep. happiness from the angpows. happiness for doing something so passionate. thanks guys for the opportunity...

...manijer...

2009-08-11T11:02:00.000-07:00

...i've found myself a manager. and i am so going on with the absolutely wonderful concept. and i need support. who is into character development, i need your support...

...two - one +...

2009-08-10T08:51:00.000-07:00

...two negative equals positive. seven early eight early while i was driving to work, i saw a dog in a cage being pulled away by most probably the bandaraya people. the dog look so dem sad, sitting at the corner of the cage; as if waiting to die. i nearly couldnt control myself seeing the poor dog in that condition. later that night, while i was driving home, i saw this parents on a motorcycle; but sandwich between them is their child - with his leg wide open sitting in between the parents and without a helmet. the little boy starred at me and i looked back; cant stop feeling lousy for the little boy. oh my goodness, i am crying adi. thinking back all my small kid experiences. and where i was brought up.

i grew up in a not so well to do family. i dont live in a big house or my dad drives a huge seven series to work. i dont have maid. i dont have the luxury of sleeping in an aircond room from young. i don get mcd! i wear old worn off school shoes from my brother. all my watches are second hand watches. and heck, my parents cant even afford to send me to college for my tertiary education. not that i am entirely overwhelmed with the condition i grew up with; cos heck it was not enough. totally not enough. i dont have an option; especially with so many other responsibility on hand that time.

but anyway, those were old stories. olden days. the history will not determine who i will be in the future, but it will show me the way to who i want to be later. i am rich now; not materialistically but spiritually. wakakaz. i changed alot ever since i entered uni. that time life has put upon me some changes that i could never imagined it would. the changes made me a different person i am now; and that is the positive thing...

...finding light...

2009-08-06T08:59:00.000-07:00

...everyone of us is infact a good natured person at heart. but the nature of the world has somehow managed to ravage and devoured our goodness bring us into destitute,despair and hope without a home. but the ligth continues to search the land to snatch people back from the clutches of the devil of the night and wipe away all their tears. bringing them back to goodness. when people find their real identities, they will no longer be afraid of darkness and people will not stray away again.

my philosophy is pretty simple, be the light. how many of us really understands how it feels like to have lost the light? not having the light of hope and being lost in the darkness brings us to the lowest of the lowest and falls into the trap of depression. depression kills. yea, trust me i know. depression did actually came to me without warning and has nearly caused me dearly. i did not share the story with many people, but those whom know about my story will understand why do i want to be the light to fight the darkness. for someone to have lost the most precious thing called hope is really unimaginable. hope is what keeps us moving forward. and to lose hope is losing all that we have. there is no will to move forward. i wont turn down any offer to be of service to people. and that is what i have dedicated to and work towards finding lights...

...naked truth...

2009-07-30T09:11:00.000-07:00

...my good fren is getting married next month and he asked my team to help him with his mulitmedia stuffs. he also insisted to show this picture(sorry friend, i gotta post this picture up my blog; lucky you nobody reads my blog anyway but if anyone of you out there like the picture shoot'em in the comments). but i had to cover up some parts so that i wont get banned from blogspot. such an adorable baby. in 2 more weeks he will be getting married and the truth is, so hard to explain. and all you need is 2 months to plan your wedding for 500 people. but 3 months to get idc moving. he did it in half the time and this fella has truly amazing energy and spirit; literally. fulamak this fren really rawks the boat. wakakakz...

i had dinner with this fren last nite; again at the curve which makes it 3 consecutive days at the curve; officially spending rm6 for parking and rm6 for toll. we had a wonderful long chat; helping him here and there for the wedding preparation; getting friends to sing opening song, yadda-yadda-yadda and lots of phone calls and interesting discussions about other people. and coming out with the most amazing idea for 32idc. amazing again dnbl wud ask. and he will end up with KK LM CB amazing again. wakakaz. i will be there to make it happen. congratulations again my dear friend...

...plastics...

2009-07-28T08:56:00.000-07:00

...it was quite a last minute arrangements actually. kevin asked me out for dinner and i said yes. since both of us have not been to the curve for the longest time, we suggested to make our presence there. initially it was all about cheapest food we can find. and most cost effective ones. then not long after that kevin said he has his claim approved and he will buy me dinner; anything also can. wakakaz. since money not so much of an issue. so suggest kao-kao expensive places. but ended up little penang munching on lobak and otak otak! which was okler. since kevin is buying dinner.

but seriously money not enough di. salary not out yet. soon i think. soon. or issit out di? shud be out le. so, my dinner date with kevin was like a bitching session; arent all our dinner session are bitching session. he has not heard me bitched about this plastic ball MCB turtle head for the longest time and he needed upates on this plastic ball MCB turtle head. wakakaz. so all our energy and mental thoughts are focused on this plastic ball MCB turtle head. once upon a time a fairy tale of a plasticball turtle who went fishing; hoping to get a big fish but ended having the need to make executive decision to overwrite others opinion; closing the space for interaction and narrowing down the need to use the constipated mind that has a diorrhea of the mouth MFCB shit. this piece of bitching agenda went on for few hours without any of us knowing the time.

haih. wtf man. ok. lets not waste any more time of plastic balls. it was great to catch up again. and it was wonderful chatting...

...got a knife?...

2009-07-25T23:29:00.000-07:00

...monday nite was a bad day. terrible feeling. all my energy sucked to the max. i wasnt in the mood to talk at all. all my energy are negatives. aaron asked me to ignore and move on. yea, i can but when the turtle head kept barking at you and making the diorrheatic sound farting from the mouth, i cannot tahan anymore. got a knife? i wanna chop off the blardy turtle head!...

...incredible india...

2009-07-21T06:15:00.000-07:00

...incredibly hot india. picture taken from hotel window at 630pm...

...i never dream that i wud be going to india. i mean i wud love to visit my kai-yer; who is a scottish but reside in pune now but i never thought my job would land me in india. i was on a business trip; thats wht people call it le. but i prefer to call it work mar. was there to conduct a hr audit for a company in delhi. this work trip brought me to delhi. i flew off from klia with MH. and my gawd, 99.99percent are indians. every single angle i turn my head, i see a black face; literally. indians. not that i have something against indians, i mean mebbe, but everyone in the flight is indian. and the indira gandhi international aiport, KNN. i was stucked at the airport for almost 2 hours upon arrival. waited 90min to get my luggage back and when i got it, the wheel was broken. SMFCBAH you ar. i asked where should i complain. nobody cared; i guess they pretended dunno. haih. there goes the wheel on my bag. cheh india! nad yea, totally "incredible" and another 30min to get to the car, put the luggage in the car and go out from the carpark. yea, it was congested even in the small little carpark out in the open air of 40degrees at night. when people say india is hot. super hot. i didnt understand what super hot 45degrees mean and LM KNN the super hot is really hot. imagine a normal day in kl is already 30degrees, and india is like 45degrees. ya. my face got burnt. though i applied some spf godknowswhat before i left the hotel but LM the 45degrees really had a great burning effect on my face. shit MCB. i got tanned skin when i reached home. india is so LM hot.

...the bmw 7 series that send us to our clients office...

my hr audit lasted 3 days. only have like half a day of shopping and relaxation to be done before flying home. with no time to waste and luckily the hotel, LM talking about the hotel. dem yau yeng. as soon as i reached the hotel, this indian lady came up to me and wished me good evening and followed by my name. MCB how she knows my name. i guess staying in such high end hotel does have its great deal of benefit. i was staying in shangri la delhi. then she escorted me to my room, open my room door and she followed me in. wahseh, i was shocked cos never in my life i had the hotel staff opened the door for me and followed me into the room. and she pulled a chair and ask me to sit down. it was like KNS ha, what is going on. then she asked me to fill in my particulars in the registration check in form. then she ask me alot of questions here and there and asked me to sign here and there; not knowing what i am signing. but i guess its nothing much just the normal registration checkin procedures. this is what i call good service. and her name is pretti. wakakakz. ya, pretty!

...india gate...

so, back to my shopping spree. i used to tease ah loon about the huge dark longkangs in delhi compared to the ones back home. and we all use to laugh at ah loon for salivating at the smelly big dirty longkangs there in mumbai. and now i got to see the real humongous longkangs of indias. wakakaz. anyway, aside from longkangs, shopping under the blardy 45degrees isnt so fun. dem MCB. its fcukingly hot. didnt buy much things except for 3 shirts from a retail shop for my 3 sons; the shirts are really exquisite; knowing for the fact that indian cotton is top of the class and the design, indian style le.

45degrees have really taken a toll on me. as soon as i reached the hotel, i went and soak myself in the bathtub in cold water. wah. KNS dem melegakan man. rest a while then packed my stuffs and checked out from the hotel. since my flight is like midnite, and its only like 6pm. i had 2 more hours to spare so spent the last 2hours completing the transpyres slides and had milkshake and calamari with it in the hotel bar.

talking about food, indian food i love. the tandoori the curries the lassis wah seh dem nice man. and everyday during our meeting, we were served tea every hour. wah. those ppl there hor really NBTD. they will come in to the meeting room every hour to check on our tea and change for you; either that they will serve us coke. wakakkaz. drink coke during the super hot 45degrees summer of delhi will keep us all awake during the hot afternoons of delhi. nah, we didn capture our requirements in front of taj mahal. we were in the office but the aircond not cold also.

the few days in delhi was great. my first time to india and yea, i want to go back there again. i dont mind the 45degrees. i dont mind the hot weather. and i do enjoy my 4 days there. waking up and going to work at 11.30am malaysian time is not something we can do all the time. wakakaz. incredible india...

...all things good...

2009-07-16T17:11:00.000-07:00

...yesterday was bhante's birthday. had dinner with bhante. my first time munching with him and a short ninety minutes dinner was filled with so many things to talk about. amazing. bhante said he never knew i had such good "vocabulary" when it comes to writing. do i? hahaha. mostly learned knowledge!

sometimes i felt that i am quite blessed; my life is filled with so many challenges and so many exciting things happening and that is what keeps me going all these while. the challenges are great. the deal i got is wonderful. tiring? absolutely but exhilirating. life is really rewarding after all. have learnt alot especially from the three of them; which taught me some very valuable lessons in life. all things good. and i still owe someone some design flyers. darn. gotta get to work soon.

something positive ler today ya. wakakaz...

blogging @airport. totally nbtd.

..all about robin...

2009-06-30T03:53:00.000-07:00

...robin sharma is one of the world's most widely read authors. he is the author of 10 major international bestsellers, including the greatness guide and the monk who sold his ferrari. his books have been published in over 50 countries and in 60 languages and have helped millions of people succeed. he is one of the superstars of the speaking profession, frequently sharing the stage with individuals such as bill clinton, jack welch, ken blanchard and dr. phil. a former litigation lawyer, robin holds 2 law degrees including a masters of law. his work has helped millions of people live their best lives and thousands of organizations get to world-class...

that was about robin sharma. robin sharma live and in person in malaysia. wakakaz. i have been living with robin since like god knws when, day in day out its about robin. every corner of my table is about robin. every angle i turn its about robin. thats how crazee i am with robin. and due to my craze in him, i somehow become the project coordinator to host him in malaysia; taking care of his needs and requirements from food to seminar hall to audio and his high bench chair with back and two tables and lots of water. yea. indeed very celebrity style. and of course, being me i gotta make it 101% successful, top class event, premiere service with celebrity chef. even though it means lack of sleep and i have to do it all alone. i am sure its worth my effort. and yes. indeed we made it a world class event; quote jason the ceo of sharma leadership international. and i am glad that the event was almost flawless. u will be shocked with my pages after pages of my documentations. and of course datin seri tiara jacquelina loved the teddy bear on her name label...

...ID(10)T...

2009-06-29T22:50:00.000-07:00

...wow, its almost july already now and my blog have officially been idle for almost 2 months. shucks.wtf. i need to come back to blogging already. too many stupid things that has been happening all these while. too many ID(10)T people in my life; or rather there is only one and only people codename ID(10)T person. sometimes i wonder how do we encrypt these ID(10)T people and shove them down the longkang. better, exterminate that ID(10)T fella. arghh, lemme start blogging again...

...hawt afternoon hawt gear...

2009-05-03T10:10:00.000-07:00

...sunday 3-may-2009 was indeed tiring day. spent the whole day chatting up a storm with a really close buddy and having some farnee conversation with someone. it was also a chance to share some stories and work things out. since the outside sun is dem blardy hot and the weather is fcukingly burning hot; the aircond in the room provides comfort and stress free afternoon for a great chat. but the fcuking streamyx gotta cause problems at the most inconvenient of time and thus some glasses were broken due to the stammering fcuking shit of streamyx nonsense. so, next best thing to do is to be OUT in another aircond room : shopping@digitalmall!

went shopping for digital stuffs at digital mall a heaven for shoppers like me who tends to want everything that is available, especially the tattoo duo 3 sonicgear speaker; which features a 3-way audio system with a dual channel bass amplier for maximum clarity : with its synchronised and enhanced bass reflex design together with the master, bass and treble volume controls and front-firing drives and it also comes with two mic inputs that have individual mic volume controls. and it costs rm160. what the dem blardy fcuk!!! i want one too. i want one too.

the day ended with a long drive for dinner to setapak and enjoyed a whole heartedly unhealthy meal with daniel and ty by the roadside. great day to be out and around...

...ex-coursemates gathering...

2009-05-02T08:59:00.000-07:00

...a day of ex-coursemates gathering in kajang. from our bkek - bacelor kejuruteraan elektronik komputer of 20 of chinese ethnic coursemates out of 100+ whom we are all quite close to each other especially during exams time. however most of the time you will see a segregation of two main group - the chinese speaking ones and the english speaking ones. i come from the english speaking group but ended up learning mandarin along the way and mixed well with the chinese speaking ones. of course as usual exams time are the time when you see everyone united and so-call exchange examination tips. wtf! exam tips is what unites us all.

for 4 1/2 years of my degree course with them, i have been through lots of ups and downs most of the time. sometimes it was the worst of the moments; however the best of the moment are not many. so sad. my roommate tengyong - someone who have tolerated me and stayed with me as roommate; stuck in the same room for 3 years. wakakaz. and of course we become the best of friends; nitely chat were great and lots of sharing of experiences together. he is a wonderful roommate whom i guess is able to tolerate my terrible behaviour! wakakaz.

anyway, back to the gathering. maybe i will post up something about my coursemates in another blog. the gathering saw the few of us together; those few who have managed to stuck to each other closely. 3 of us work at the same area - klsentral but hardly ever meet and we drove more than 70++km to meet each other in kajang. what a joke! it was fun to catch up again; seeing them with their families and kids and doing great in their respective job. and seeing yourself still stuck in a low paying job with low paying salary with a terrible colleague to work with and blardy bastard idiots all around. fcuk it! shcuks. change mindset. change mindset. mostly have moved up in the technical line but some have opted for the management role. however i am the only one who went to hr. something totally out of the scope! but i guess i can be good at it given the opportunity. we had a great chat. celebrating choonyan's birthday and having chocolate strawberry cake from secret recipe and eating and eating all thanks to keeleong who have graciously prepared all the mihun goreng and pasta and satay and many more yumy food for us. talked for a few hours and we adjourn back home and went straight home right to my room and hide in there. why? the weather is dem blardy HOT!.

the pictures are old pictures taken so long ago. probably the last gathering we had which was i guess 2 to 3 years ago. time flies...

...will u marry me?...

2009-05-01T07:39:00.000-07:00

...when you want to say something, say it LOUD and CLEAR with a tshirt...

...shud be in production soon...

...happy belated birthday MEtz...

2009-04-29T09:01:00.000-07:00

...i cant believe it. i totally forgot about MEtz's team birthday. shcuks. spent the whole saturday evening thinking and pondering and trying to figure things out and how to make things work. and then thought of updating and changing the skin for MEtz team since its been a year plus already and maybe a small change of design may be good. after hours of trying and adjusting and playing around with colors and publishing and trying somemore. finally nailed it. a simple maroonish color background. the left side may look abit plain but i think the simplicity of it and the plain color of it makes it look even more elegant and inspirational. because for MEtz team, its all ideas thru illustration...

...executive decision...

2009-04-25T07:49:00.000-07:00

...this is an executive decision. i want you to change it right now. you need to include *^*#@ and *%$#@ in the design. its an executive decision!...

WHAT THE FCUK is this blardy executive decision?

...what the fcuk is this executive decision? who is the executive? what executive decision? these were my questions thrown back to the person who instructed me this...

brainless fcuking idiot. executive decision konon. fcuking nonsense decision. if you want people to help to do something, just ask politely. humbly and politely. ask for assistance wont die one. dont fcuking instruct. dont throw fcuking shit like this and call it executive decision. i have told many people about this fcuking executive decision thingy and everyone is laughing over it now. even the principal consultant who sits besides me make a huge big joke out of it and even used it in one of his training. what started off as a huge big stupid fcuking blardy asshole brainless remarks ended up as a huge big fat joke in the office. executive decision. now, when someone wants another person to do something, they will all fcukingly bring out the executive decision method and then lol laugh out loud over it and then say what they want to say. its fcuking executive decision.

i am still fcukign piss off. fcuking piss off with fcuking remarks to me. suddenly i felt that wtf, the joke is not on me anymore...

...cd cover designs...

2009-04-22T09:01:00.000-07:00

...grab a copy of the cd now. its available in various buddhist organization. yeap. designed by daniel and me. first was datuk's cd. i notice most of the cd produced by bgf has a very fugly design. and as a matter of fact, most of the cd's produced in the buddhist community. thus, i insist that i want to do one for datuk. and due to daniel's persistence with design job he contacted dr cky and he got another job there. two designs at once. phew! that was interesting. and of cos due to our strength in different softwares daniel focused on photo editing using photoshop while i put the finishing touches to using illustrator. and voila, we have 2 cds design ready to be launched for wesak2009!

of course my very first design for cd was for i.gemz very first album. i think with that i.gemz cd design, we have sent a different shockwave to the buddhist community of a modern contemporary feel to buddhist hymns album cover design. i still love the very first design; my very first hands on for cd cover design...

...darn foolish april...

2009-04-22T08:11:00.000-07:00

...as darn as april can be. as fcuking hot and fcuking frustrated the dem month can bring, april has been the busiest of all. with robinsharma on my right hand and free design service on the other, i kinda lost balance between both. daniel was with me to do all the design job despite his finals. together we should create a brandname for ourselves. the following months of design will be chargeable! yes. c-h-a-r-g-e-a-b-l-e!

4 magazine ad. 1 company portfolio. 3 designs for thestar newspaper. 2 posters for taylors, 3 for charity dinner. one whole set of logo and tshirt design for bubs, 2 buntings for organ donations and conceptualizing another one due in a week. and it all happened in april. phew. sometimes i get confused and my laptop is already complaining about the heavy workload adi. i NEED more ram! or mebbe I NEED a mac!

keyword : NEED

however, i enjoy every single job except for one that is with this irritating uncle who request of blue top and a green pants plus a red shirt. can u imagine a santa clause out of me? anyway when daniel saw the design, he totally hated it and i puke by just doing it. oh wtf. i shud be more professional in handling customers. but what the heck for non paying ones. this desgin totally sucks big time. but uncle likes it. i dunno why.mebbe the older u get the sense of colors is different. no wonder most of the time u see old uncle and aunties wear red top with blue bottom and roam the streets. yukes! but one thing i learnt though is that different people will have different sense of color coordination and preference. colors are determined by the people and the culture and lifestyle at that particular timezone. probably twenty years down the road, the younger ones may not approve of this old uncle color sense anymore. wakakakz. but seriously that design sucks! sorryler uncle, i really dont like it leh. please don quote my name leh. if anyone seen it in sjba, please snap a picture for me to see ok! fugly! fcukingly ugly leh.

argh. almost all the creative juices have been sucked out from me adi. now i to enhance on my photography passion and play more with my toy. hopefully i get to go singapore for a photography shoot for a big event there. official photographer! yes. yes. yes...

...darn april is dem fool...

2009-04-09T08:55:00.000-07:00

...april has been a darn stupid pathetic month thus far. though my march was full of short holiday trip but april come with thunderstorm that fcuk the ass out of your daylight! its may now and i have yet to write anything about the malacca trip. fcuk i have not even written anything about my trip to cali few years back. yea, fcuk it man. i deserve a longER breakaway from the lousiness of people in the office.

anyway whts with this malacca trip? just something that i suddenly thougth i wanted to do and something that wants to be done without much thinking. just call up some frens and make a trip down there. heck csc was the one planning the entire trip. i was on the other hand selamba cos i wanted some peace and quiet and a short runaway and snap pictures again. malaccca ended up to be a makan trip and photography trip. jack suddenly found a high interest in modelling and daniel was really determined with his chicken rice balls and durian chendol. song was tensed up as he didnt know where to bring us next. and of cos satay babi became the all time favourite. i was quite relaxing except for the fact that i was driving all the way. and it was my first time having beer with the guys in jonker. i never thought that i wud ever want to touch back alcohol again after my first time with alcohol which nearly...fcuk tht was so many years ago and i should already let it go by now. schuks! malacca was great. been quite some time since i last step foot there; hmm that was during chiakokwai and poontesiung's graduation man! shucks. oops. was there with tzayeong recently to attend datuk's father funeral. lupa pulak!

unplanned trip is usually more unique is a sense where alot of things remain mysterious and you do not know whats your next move or what you going to do next. i think the unknown part is the best. thats when there is no expectations. of course the pulau ketam trip was something totally out; suddenly decides to go the night before because i just got a new toy to play with and pulau ketam seems to be a nice play to use my expensive toy to check things out. but my japan trip was totally planned. yeah. it sucks to do all the planning. but the outcome is fantastic. u get to know what you are doing and where you are going and whats interesting about the place. but for japan the unknown was more of the language and the place itself.

...batam again?...

2009-04-07T11:36:00.000-07:00

...my infamous batam trip was actually a trip which happened so sudden till i didnt have time to digest the fact that i have been to batam. wtf man. i was in batam. it was a wonderful invitation by aaron for me to have a wonderful time away from fcuking office in which he knows i was dem blardy piss off with so many things that was happening in the dem blardy office facing the dem blardy people. anyway, this post is not about dem blardy idiot. its about my batam trip. which took place on feb28.2009.

many people was questioning me why go to batam? what is there in batam? why choose batam as your holiday destination? as a matter of fact it was aaron's invitation that struck me to go to batam. and my batam trip was excellent. have never been off the country feeling so relaxed and so much free time to just lay quietly and enjoy the day. and i was so fortunate to be follow my good fren over to batam for a quiet peaceful holiday. with nothing in mind. nothing really to look forward to. and nothing really to buy except the iphone lookalike chinapek phone which apparently was told cos about rm300 and polo tshirts which is dem cheap.

with that in mind i had rm500 which is about 1.6million rupiahs with me to batam. my batam trip actually began from singapore. both of us flew into singapore as aaron has not been to singapore. we spend the whole day in singapore; having walked the streets of orchard to suntec and marina sq and right up to merlion when it got struck by lightning after we left. shucks should have stayed a while longer to witness that singapore history. bad omen to singapore. merlion was struck by lightning.

from singapore, we took a ferry to batam. ferry costs me sgd48 for a return ticket. wtf man. more expensive than my flight ticket to singapore. well not exactly more expensive le. but fcuk, expensive. but its okler. my first time to batam anyway.

so what the heck i did in batam? wakakaz. its a story i shared between aarontan and me. but i had a great and wonderful short breakaway to an island so different but with food i so adore and fell in love with. the spicyness of the indonesian food was excellent. even kfc tastes so much more spicy. shopping was pretty cheap. bought a not so big not so small luggage back enough for a 4days short trip travel. took some pretty interesting pictures of batam. was horned by all sorts of cabs as we walked the streets of batam. suddenly i felt like a male hooker being honked by cars while navigating our ways on the streets of batam.

still not telling what we did in batam. but the truth is, it was something different to experience. batam again? depends on the price. wakaakz...

...update liao...

2009-04-07T08:01:00.000-07:00

...i promised to write about my batam trip but broke my promise. i promise to write about my malacca trip and i broke my promise also. and now its been about 1 month i left my blog empty without any hawt stories to tell. aaron said i can write very well. and i told kokwai that i dunno how to differentiate a verb and a noun. big deal. i learn english by listening to how it sounds like. argh, need to update blog liao...

...tripod session...

2009-03-16T10:49:00.000-07:00

...what can we do with a tripod? wakakaz. went to malacca for a 2-day trip with daniel and jack. met up with song and stayed over at his place. basically the whole entire trip was about food and photography. and we ended up having this farnee session with jack who loves to model. later will blog more about malacca. i still have not written about my batam trip...

...final touches...

2009-03-12T09:25:00.000-07:00

...finally completed the whole design. approved and getting printed. phew! if not daniel helping me and pevin putting on the final touches, this poster and ticket wont be complete. wah seh. three of us can be a dem good combi. and mr tree we still have a project going on ya. lemme push it thru. wakakaz...

...poster design...

...ticket design...

...compassion in action 3...

2009-03-09T11:22:00.000-07:00

...just completed. so many voices so many suggestions. so many people. a design by dnbl@studioworx and jyon! wakakaz. anyone noticed the difference with the ticket design?...

...bkt weekend...

2009-03-08T08:55:00.000-07:00

...our weekend hunt for bkt continued to be even more exciting. this time we did not have our gps turned on. it was a matter of whether we can make it or we will be lost somewhere in klang and daniel will start constructing his hokkien sentences that showcase his greatest ability to master the great hokkien language and shout it out as if it was the most fluent of all language to describe klang and the people of the district. ty would add on to daniel and when both combined forces; all hokkienese shall bow to these duo who are the most pro in this superb mcb, knn, mkl, kiongkan, ccb, tl language of all time. i only can sit in the back seat with my seat belt securely tightened as to not fall off the seat like ty falling off his bed all the time. wakakaz. wakakaz. dem farnee.

this round we found and we managed to eat at the stall that is also known as under the bridge. after months and months of searching, we finally got our chance to saviour this bkt under the bridge. daniel was thrilled. he was the one suggesting us to go under the bridge. he was so thrilled that in his reverse parking he almost crushed my feet. yes, we are finally at the stall under the bridge to saviour their famous bkt. unfortunately they don have dry ones. only the soupy ones. and to make things worst, they dont have garlic. wtf. how on earth do these people eat bkt without garlic? double fcuk! and they dont have yau char kuai! triple fcuk!

luckily we were compensated with the oily too fattening delicious bkt soup.the meat was ok, not as tender and juicy as the one near our live gps's house in eng ann. the cili padi was great though without its best friend the garlic, bkt wouldnt mean anything. though the soup was great however, is not enough for the triple whammee we encountered in this so called best of the world bkt as recommended by klangians. fcuk!

well, lets see our following hunt for bkt will lead us to where. definitely this under the bridge triple fcuk will not make us go back there any sooner. arghh the bkt dose is definitely not enough yesterday as ty did not even have his iced tea and lean back caress his stomach and burp with satisfaction. under the bridge? scuks la...

...compassion in action...

2009-03-08T08:29:00.000-07:00

...finally completed the ticket design. with the creative eyes of daniel ngan, we have finally completed the design. phew! something simple and yet attractive enough. next step is to design the creditcard style ticket for platinum table and also the poster design. great job daniel!...

...compassion in action...

2009-03-07T11:15:00.000-08:00

...currently am working on this design for a fund raising dinner. themed compassion in action : transforming lives in the himalayans. its raising fund for mahabodhi international meditation centre in ladakh : for venerable sanghasena. five years ago, i had a chance to meet venerable sanghasena and i knew about his extraordinary efforts put in transforming so many lives in the himlayas. i have even wrote a manual on the best practises of running a youth camp and have presented to ven. sanghasena. heck, i have even designed an amazing race workshop specially to be run in ladakh and i am so glad my ideas and concept of an experiential learning workshop has reached the land of ladakh. and now so many years later, i am doing the design concept for his fund raising. this is the draft design so far...

...ticket design partially completed...

...best in sg and jb...

2009-03-02T09:41:00.000-08:00

...best in singapore and jb and some say batam. have been hearing that statement all the time. but where the heck is batam? since it is the best in singapore and jb already, then batam must be nearby. so how big is batam and how far is batam from nearby island singapore? people say its about 45minutes ferry ride from harbour front. the much talk about place by pck private limited is now in my passport stamped. wakakaz. batam : i have conquered!. more blogging about batam in the next post. what i fear most in batam : being honked by cabs. shucks...

...holy crap! batam is so dem big. bigger than singapore. wah seh...

...extendyoureach...

2009-02-23T06:03:00.000-08:00

...daniel edited this photo. i added the words in. dem yau yeng...

i think we can partner well to go into design business already

...extendyoureach...

2009-02-23T06:00:00.000-08:00

...i was having a really difficult time to figure out my next advertisement in the magazine : what should i do for the next issue? totally stuck and lost my mind. until i saw ty and daniel playing with the 40d. and that was my aha moment. yes. i am going to feature them in the next ad design. its definitely gonna be them. these two sons are those who loves to "argue" in hokkien on almost anything they can think of and almost everything that comes to mind. their conversation; though not all i could understand, but i do get the meaning. so most of the time i would sit behind the car and enjoy the laughing matter. daniel would drive my car.

so the two being energetic and dynamic; i chose the theme strength & vitality. and with just the title, they both came out with some really great ideas on how to pose for the ad design. owe it all to them for helping me to pose for the ad design, edit the picture, run around sweating and jumping for poses and finally nail the shot. it was a basketball scene that we were all looking for. tzayeong directed the whole show and daniel helped with the poses. i merely click on the button to snap the pictures. thank you guys. mebbe the next issue i should feature them as well...

...blardy word...

2009-02-23T03:17:00.000-08:00

...my principle is very simple, if u trust me than you dont have to question me. if you question me that means you dont trust me. and if you blardy dont trust me what for you ask me to be honest with you? as if i am not honest. well, what is there to talk about anymore. i believe that i dont need to explain myself. cos i have done nothing wrong to deserve to be questioned that way. and if you need any of the blardy explanation, that means you dont trust me and if i explain that means i am defending myself. whats the point?...

...apricot...

2009-02-22T07:11:00.000-08:00

...apricotGARDEN somehow fits in the picture nicely. it was the outcome of aaron and me having a long chat in starbucks pyramid that we came out with that idea. then later daniel and me was playing around with the design and we came out with this instead. apricotDESIGN. wakakaz...

...hunt for bkt...

2009-02-21T11:31:00.000-08:00

...our weekends are usually filled with a hunting trip to klang for klang bak kut teh dinner and we always ended up being lost in klang. the three of us will find any means to indulge our taste buds with klang bak kut teh; ty being the one who insist of dry bkt. of course we did not attest to it cos we love it too. so our usual order is dry bkt and soupy bkt with lots of yau char kuai and garlics. garlics and cili padi soaked with thick soy sauce. something different that i have not experienced but sure seems excellent. now i will never have bkt without the garlic cili padi and thick soy sauce.

our hunting trip usually leads us to somewhere which seems familiar to us but mostly it is just a case of being lost but not admiting we are lost. our gps works extremely well as the landmarks and the turning point and the junctions are very well updated. however it failed to take into considerations of the heavy traffic.

now every weekend we are so looking forward for the next bkt trip again and again and again...

...ask for what?...

2009-02-12T07:07:00.000-08:00

...i just dont like people who offers help to you and then just went off without even helping anything. asking for the sake of pretending to be good and then in actuality just asking for the sake of asking. fcuk these people lar. really idiots!...

...uniquely singapore...

2009-02-10T09:23:00.000-08:00

...nite @ clark quay. 30secs shutter speed to take this shot. dem...

...taken on the last day infront of ngee ann city by someone carrying a nikon...

...striking poses with merlion...

...uniquely singapore. wakakaz. my singapore trip was rather unusual not to say unique. in a certain way, its was quite adventurous. travelling on the mrt reminds me of my korea trip with kokwai and dear; holding a map and wandering here and there in seoul. daniel was the one holding the map and guiding us from one place to another. just follow daniel! singapore couldnt be more fun this way. a usually dull boring fcuked up sg trip would always end up me spending the nite in the hotel munching on mcd and watching sg tv channel. wtf.

jayson and daniel to come along with me on the trip. however tzayeong was having exams this week and he cant join us in the trip. :(. next time : next stop bangkok tzayeong! thu, fri and sat was spent working my ass off. not much of the work though, just more on bitching around in the office. but when nite comes when darkness comes alive, my entire world changed. the first nite was extremely tiring : we spent walking up and down orchard road and sitting around watching people. somehow watching people become our favourite passtime. the second nite we became more adventurous; we wandered into chinatown and then took a train to paya lebar and walked to geylang - haven for international cuisine and seafood. what a place to be seen. the third nite was spent having porridge dinner in chinatown and straight to clark quay to watch people again. 3 extremely tiring nite but interesting.

we enjoyed watching people alot. wakakaz. and the people enjoyed being watched. and from the few days of exciting day in singapore we notice that:

couples like to cuddle in the train
couples like to kiss on the escalator
when you have it, you flaunt it. flaunt it all the way down the cleavage
when you dont have it, go sex shop to buy it
sentosa is a legal place to stare, watch and snap half naked people's photo
siloso beach is a place to flaunt it and to relax
clark quay is a place to be seen
do not ta pau food from hooters and eat somewhere else. ppl call u stupid
sitting on the bridge in clarkquay with a beer on your hand and a camera is the coolest thing
geylang is not a legal place to stare, watch and snap picture of cleavages
sunday is a day where all indonesians have picnic along orchard road
heapest place to have dinner is in chinatown
we cannot have less than sgd3 in our ezilink card for mrt
old chang kee curry puff is nice
the best food that really authentic sg is singapore fried beehoon
daniel and jayson loved the fountain of wealth
sg zoo cost a bomb to enter
haw par villa is closed: according to some singaporean
with ezilink card, travelling become so much cheaper
daniel is the expert in travelling with mrt in singapore
of course we got a bottle of water ta pau from the fountain of wealth

thank you guys for making this trip so wonderful. its a great trip and a beautiful time to spend with close friends.

...dnbl studioworx one...

2009-02-08T17:42:00.000-08:00

...some random pictures with the 50mm lens taken by dnbl studioworx...

...cny in nilai...

2009-02-04T08:12:00.000-08:00

...its chinese new year celebration in nilai...

...in-fcuk-siderate...

2009-02-01T10:29:00.000-08:00

...fcuk! i have been labelled as INCONSIDERATE. what the fcuk man. assholes!!!...

now how do we define a person who is inconsiderate? when we look at the dictionary, incosiderate can be defined as lacking regard for the rights or feelings of others. hmm, i was called inconsiderate which brings about the meaning that i am lack of regard for the rights or feelings of others. in other words, i am labelled as not showing thought for the feelings of other people or to make definition easier : thoughtless/heedless. what the fucccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk...

...hand-job...

2009-02-01T08:59:00.000-08:00

...wow. just reached home after spending two days performing some hand job! pretty tough man. the final results of the banner is as below. the actual design is as the previous post. but i think the hand painted ones are so much more better! never felt better doing the painting and the entire process of drawing and sketching it up. of cos all these are also made possible by tzayeong who helped in the entire painting process too. since his hands are bigger, he could not reach to the smaller areas. dem farnee la that fella with all his weird cakap cakap. wakakaz...

...break-in...

2009-01-29T05:23:00.000-08:00

...explosive ideas...

...meow...

2009-01-29T05:13:00.000-08:00

...catbert came over to and called my name anxiously. i was concentrating on completing my stuffs so that i can rush for dinner; gastric attacking : no lunch mar. catbert came over and made a silly remark on a high pitch tone voice eyes big big mouth open wide like a silly alligator and farted out the simplest of the english language word known as "bai". what the fuck! yea, this time i said it out loud instead of the usual wtf. meowww...

...still hanging around...

2009-01-28T11:33:00.000-08:00

...the truth is always nice to hear. almost everyone shares the same sentiment. we are all in a boat where everyone complains about the same thing but the captain does nothing about it. however there have been lots of rumours flying around about the latest addition in which more bitching is about to happen...

...cny blast...

2009-01-25T07:11:00.000-08:00

...cny blasting of ideas. something i created after a whole long process of thinking and conceptualizing the whole design for the namecard. so many thoughts comes to mind. finally settle for this design. i think it worx perfectly...

...cny explosion...

2009-01-25T07:10:00.000-08:00

...explosion of cny rantings. i love the peace and quiet of this time. no explosive bickering and bitching of relatives and family members...

...sometimes i dem blardy hate the cny advertisement shown on the tv. fcuk it. i totally fcuking blardy hate it. it is the only time the only advertisement that makes me shed the dem blardy tears from my eyes. 2008 cny i was alone at home figuring what it was like to be in kl after 33 years of celebrating cny in kuantan. i felt more relax and free home alone. i didnt regret a single bit of being in my hometown during cny. however i have made kuantan my so called hometown for the past 33 years. the advertisement didnt make it easier for me. 2007 pertonas advertisement first triggered my emotions by showcasing the old ladies talking about their children. i really hated my home as i didnt feel i belong there at all. 2008 petronas advertisement shows a little boy waiting for bus and going home to the orphanage. i totally scuked and fcuked myself as i have a home to go back to; however i didnt feel i belong home. thus my nature of staying out late and coming back to "the" room in the wee hours. i have a home. i didnt feel i belong there. 2009 petronas advertisement shows a man who hated everything the father did and annoying stuffs of a father; from the simplest no cockles in char kuay teow to singing karaoke. i totally hated to speak to the person whom i call mother. i totally cried when i saw all these ad on tv. it reminds me so much about how fcuking idiot i am. i fcuking hated the people i have at home. if i have the chance, the first thing i would do is to move out and get a place of my own. fcuked it. i cant bear another moment there. and fcuked it stupid petronas ad to bring me to the moment of time that i totally fcuking despise. happy cny to those around...

...birthday wishes...

2009-01-22T12:35:00.000-08:00

...HAPPY BIRTHDAY AARON TAN...

...pre-cny...

2009-01-22T12:30:00.000-08:00

...now i got the hang of golf. my first few times of golf was with loon and gang but i never knew how to actually hit the ball. i thought i knew and i was determine to play and was rather egoistic and showy off when ty asked me to play. that was my very first time i played in years. i was so into golf that nite that i wanted more. and we had more of golf. ty, daniel and me went for another round of golf again. and with ty's simple instructions, i finally got it. it was fun and enjoyable. daniel just got it. we had a great nite celebrating this pre-chinese new year. with bak kut teh as our reunion dinner served on the table, and a round of golf with a whole nite bragging and chatting till the wee hours of the morning, 2009 year of the ox began with a delightful sensation and beautiful memories. i had a wonderful nite out. send daniel back back and reached home with a beautiful early morning sleep..

...wishes...

2009-01-22T07:14:00.000-08:00

...23.jan.aaron.tan : 24.jan.kevin.lee : 25.jan.pevin.yeo. happy birthday guys...

...golf again...

2009-01-16T10:20:00.000-08:00

...i am still thinking of my golf session with ty last nite. looking at my palms right now, the pain is still there. the blsiters grew bigger by the hour. the pain in the joints were felt severely later. was really unprepared for the game of golfing; striking a dark blue shirt and a black pants and shiny leather shoes with shoelaces, with my sleeves pulled up and shoes off; i bend my knees and blardy hell hurts like hell. but i persevered. slowly adjusting my grip with my right index finger locking my little left finger and thumbs pointing directly downwards; adjusted my right arm to be straight, my left arm to swing and my wrist to do the moving and the whole body twist to my right side a little, pull the club back and wack on the ball. the sound of the wacking on the ball seems to be fantastic. perfect sound. must be able to fly. fuiyoh; dunno where the ball went ler. staring out in the driving range, looking for the ball, still cannot find. thought i was like so dem pro already. but mana tau looked down, the ball still there intact. basket. memalukan nia. cheh. quickly pretend and ty would look at me and laughed. wakakaz. we enjoyed laughing at each other on the missed balls. an awesome game of golf man...

...JOY of golfing...

2009-01-16T08:34:00.000-08:00

...i went and play golf with ty just now. suddenly out of no where ty ajak to play golf at the driving range in kota permai. got 200balls to hit.hand full of blisters now. dem pain. knee is still very pain now. especially when i tried to lower some part of my knee to adjust my body to hit the ball. fcuk, sibeh pain man. was a good workout session though. sweating like nobody business. which was what i seriously needed - the heck out of me to sweat! after which we just sat there enjoying the moment. wah seh. my hands are dem tiring. but it sure feels dem good to be on track again. the pain brings JOY back to life again. wakakaz. ty is having lots of JOY also. heck i dont even know how to hold the golf club. dem paiseh. lucky the last lot was still available and not many people around that time. wakakaz!...

...PBTE...

2009-01-15T07:45:00.000-08:00

...this too shall pass. suddenly become so engaged and i felt better after talking about it. yea, its been in my blood for so long already. its been flowing intensely all over my head and its just got boiled. reached the boiling point and everything just came out. but i am glad i talked about it. and release all the pressure boiling inside. taking a deep breathe now, i think i feel more comfortable now; knowing that this too shall pass and my second "family" will always be there to support me in times of need. i am going for PBTE now already...

...u've been good?...

2009-01-14T10:40:00.000-08:00

...a short visit to lowyat turned to a long chat with daniel until the wee hours in the morning at starbucks moneyriver. time flies. the quiet of the nite was drowned with the speeding cars and showy-off loud engines. every sentence had to be paused for the loud buggers speeders to pass. despite the late hours of hyped up discussion, today, felt more energized after the long constructive feedback session of all the things that is happening and how to make it better. glad that we have one thing in common; that is wanting the better for something and someone. next step will be my action plan to get certain things moving. i dunno how much i can do and i dunno who else will be supporting me, but i think its about time i voice out something or to do something to kick ass.

its about time i give christmas presents to those who have been good.

atch out those who were involved in our discussion, you will definitely feel the heat...

...alive and kicking...

2009-01-13T09:23:00.000-08:00

...two days of steamboat in a row. wakakaz. first it was the tigers vs monkeys steamboat by meng kor who so happily organized for us. it was great to catch up again with old colleagues after such a long time but somehow i sense abit of strange as we could not connect well during the dinner. mebbe the long absence. however not, we are so happy to be back together bitching around and constantly striving so hard to restrain from unkind words that screw people asses.

while we were on the topic of screwing, i have been constantly being irritated by maxis services recently and they are totally fcuked up. nobody CAN DO ANYTHING there. and if this post shows up in any search engine, YES MAXIS SUCKS. despite it is known as MAlaysia Xcellent Service. should be more of MAhai tiukaokaoXService. customer service staffs are practically; if i may use the word STUPID. no consistency in what they say. basically i can summarise them to be TOTAL FCUKED UP company. shitty services. useless service staff. and brainless people. argh shcuks stupid ma-fcukedup-xis.

and i had a great wonderful nite having steamboat dinner with daniel and ty.been awhile we sat down and talk crap and business; and they both are quite skilled in business sense too. very entrepreneurial as well. lots of ideas churned out. lots of daring pursuit. outnumbering the risks to be taken. somehow i wish the company i work with is capable or not.

i think its simply exciting time for them; for us to kick butts. as one person, not many things can get done. as a team; passionately involved coupled with skillful means, anything can happen. especially big bucks. because small people talk about small things. big people talk big. great people shares great ideas. we are totally in the category of great people. of course we are. wakakaz. now its time to implement the ideas and put them to work. its no longer just an idea. its a reality. lets kick ass guys...

...fine example of making things happen...

2009-01-02T07:11:00.000-08:00

...reliving the memories of sevenDEC2009. let me start off with saying a few not so nice to hear words about the event that really gets on my nerves and made me commit speech crime of over indulging in unkind words. fcukeddammit. dammit. yes. goddammit.

the first impression already not good. giving me the idea that "why do u ask me to lead when u already planned all ur leaders thing" during the first meeting lagi boh shiok. when people start arguing, its when we know things went wrong somewhere. however daniel and tzayeong that time dem semangat to get things done. phew. and of course not to mention incovar time leh. allex, me and karwei was super tiedup during the fcukeddammit we were "thrown" into a hidden room. far away from existence. fcukeddammitcommittee who dunno nuts about anything.

dem lucky my enterprise manager tzayeong managed to twist thing around and make it work. he done up the room so dem nice that it is beyond words can say. truly salute him for going beyond boundaries, making things happen and getting things into order. the way he manages things, run around getting things ready, setting up the place, preparing the hot seats, getting the deco up etc. super efficient. from a days work, without stop and without complain he managed to turn the set into something seriously so spectacular beyond imagination. his photography corner become a photography studio. and that earned him the respect from all over.

and of course daniel, being the project manager for the event lead the photographers well. from song in the portraiture studio to karwei and aaron covering the event hall and pevin and mj covering everywhere else. song's gf peiyun collecting the money, kokwai running up and down for me. my project manager lead them well; from directing them to the right spot to encouraging them to take certain angle shots to coordinating the people, getting people in the room, framing, interview session, covering every aspect of the event is indeed marvellous. all the photographers listens to his words and his direction. all my photographers respected him for what he say and do. my photographers are truly amazing lot.

i could not ask for more with these two sons working on this project individually that brings people together as a team and producing such an amazing video at the end. with such short time and pressure coming from all directions, they managed to get things up with such great quality. the video is superb. amazing compilation within a few hours. storyboard - excellent. beyond words could say.

just that it was not shown to the audience. some fcuked up things in the org itself which i do not know what the heck is wrong. i am totally piss. why? because all the hardwork we all put in. the dedication we had. and all we wanted was 5 minutes of time to show the memories of the fcukeddammit. but fcuked. its only 5minutes and we are not even spared. just 5minutes of video from a full days of hardwork and months of planning. fcuk!

just sharing the beautiful memories of how tzayeong and daniel both students in college is able to excel so well and able to make things happen so real...

...i love my christmas present...

2009-01-01T07:59:00.000-08:00

...my 3 sons gave me a christmas present. something that i so wanted to get one for myself but didnt get it. somehow they knew about it and they got it for me for christmas. so happy. jack, daniel and tzayeong. thank you guys for the present. i love it. probably the most expensive christmas present i've got. i love u guys. thanks...

...new year new island to venture...

2009-01-01T07:58:00.000-08:00

...pulau ketam photography trip? how was it? sensational! will post up pictures once i got it from ty. totally awesome trip. no planning. no thinking. hassle free. 3 good friends. 1 great place. crab island.

with bkt for brunch and dinner. with lala goreng for tea. with shooting colored crabs under the hot afternoon sun. with our bmw's roaming the whole island. with our gears dashing thru the whole island. a nice village. dirty smelly and disgustingly yucks; however the scenery is fantastic. the old houses on stilts. the family ties. i see families cleaning and repainting their houses for cny. washing the floor. painting their gates. nope. i never been thru all those before. just something i thought i would not enjoy doing but enjoy watching. like tvb drama. dramatic. life there is so slow. peaceful and quiet. song asked me would i live there? absolutely no. however i would like to help preserve the culture there and snap more pictures mebbe next trip i will snap each and every house there in crab island to capture the entire essence of crab island and map out their lifes in my book. salute to u crab island for being so disgustingly dirty yet amazing.

yea. sensational is the word to describe it. heck its the name of my magazine to be produced soon. and of course the most awesome was the eagle chase. beautiful shots by tzayeong. great skills shown by him. he is excellent with the 40d. and the eagle he shot. simply astonishing. superb dear friend...

...taken by tzayeong using canon eos40d...

...happy new year...

2008-12-31T07:59:00.000-08:00

...yay. i got a new toy. yes. suddenly dunno why at the end of the year; where salary just came out and where people are leaving for happy countdown; i splurge on a new toy which i don care about anything else but i just want it. and yes. i got it. i got my new toy. for the new year. yes.

it was really a peaceful new year for me. pretty great to spend the new year with ty in a peaceful quiet countdown. heck its just another ordinary day which so happens its a holiday. tomorrow? looking forward for a sensational pulau ketam trip with ty and song. planned that for such a long time adi. but i realise alot of things need not to do some much plannng and thingking. its better to grab your gears and go forth. dem i am so happy with my new toy to play with. happy new year...

...its the end...

2008-12-29T07:50:00.000-08:00

...the year 2008 has come to an end. and a new year 2009 is about to begin. so what the heck am i looking for next year? its just a turn of the year and its just another day to endure. i do not know whats wrong with me. i have been living in this scene for the past few months. things are bad. people i work with are suckie. idiots are roaming around. everywhere i look, i see idiots. its practically a world full of assholes. sucks. literally. assholes. i have not been on green pasture lately. most of the things i touch it becomes dust. i think i know why. of cos i know why. and i am fcuking hating those people i work with. people laughed at me. people made bad remarks about me. people start telling me what i should do. people start telling me what i didnt do. people laughed at me begging for help. fcuk those assholes. and i am living my live dreadfully because of these assholes who made my life so miserable. thank you people; assholes to be more proper. scuk them...

...help...

2008-12-28T06:45:00.000-08:00

...its 10.45pm on a sunday nite and i got this sudden emotional outburst that i cant handle. help...

...msn buddy...

2008-12-26T08:42:00.000-08:00

...today i spent the whole morning and afternoon chatting with scs that i almost forgotten how relaxing it is to be chatting and at the same time working. most of our conversations revolves around work anyway. and of course it does help alot when we started chatting about it and "brainstorming" ideas. i got my product brochure done with an excellent concept already. wakakakz. i love msn...

...christmas celebration...

2008-12-25T02:46:00.000-08:00

...merry christmas to everyone. mine is not merry. just sad case. but thats my problem to endure. i gotta get out of this mess myself to be able to stand up again; literally to climb the stairs with ease. fcuk my knees are really hurting.

its a dead bored christmas. its practically dead place to be in. somehow the peace and quiet it what i think has made everything different. heck my knee still hurts. heck i fcuking hate this time of the year. its so hard to laugh again. my msn buddy wants me to laugh the hell out of myself...

...towards the end...

2008-12-24T02:39:00.000-08:00

...practically the whole year has been filled with so many uncertainties. especially towards the end where life threw me with tonnes of things that is really out of my expectations and without me even knowing it. life was so difficult to endure then. what was pulling me back from the dreadful dead end was indeed those closest to me; who stood by me all these while and giving me the comforting words. it is already dreadful to live by with so many bad remarks and unskillful speech by the people u work with and the people u literally work with. argh. to get them off my nerves would be pushing myself into isolation. to say they are fcukign idiots and stupid, mebbe i am dem too smart. i am indeed glad to have a fren who have been there all these time; though sometimes i feel sad; but he is still "flesh&blood"...

...birthday wishes dear...

2008-12-23T10:30:00.000-08:00

...finally i visited dear. happy birthday dear. after a freaking long long absence and freaking busy schedule apparently i dropped by dear's place for a short chat. brought ty along after our short christmas shopping spree in aeon. though the time spent was freakingly short; the catching with dear was indeed meaningful. i so miss matthew. later that night i had a really long chat session in my car. indeed it was a wonderful chatty session to kickstart a wonderful christmas. heck i got presents for the three of them too. merry christmas guys...

...success successful...

2008-12-20T12:15:00.000-08:00

...i had the most fcuking irritating trip to sg. with fcuking irritating time i had to endure through and fcuking stupid remarks i have to live with. arghh...i need to jump out from the ship and swim for my life. i fcuking hated everything then. i need to unhook. i need an exit point. i need a trigger. picking up success from lcct at 1 in the morning immediately upon my arrival from sg was what i needed to do. i reached ktm station kl at ten. then took a komuter to sentral and took my car; had a really slow drive to lcct and reached lcct at 1130. since success is not due in an hour; i took a nap and slept in the car parked near lcct. felt like its been ages since i slept so comfortably. i think the unhooking process and the trigger is working. success finally arrived at 1am and send him back. i guess i managed to unhook and triggered my emotions to think from another perspective. or rather i just needed a dear friend to talk to. and success was there...

...i cried...

2008-12-15T10:30:00.000-08:00

...30th camp ended with a big blast to my heart. it blast open my heart tortured my soul, drained my energy and despite all the tormenting events i still can pick up the torn pieces of my heart and open my mouth to apologise. and it took me tremendous effort to be able to realise what i have done wrong to deserve all these mental torture. arghh. yea, i did alot of things that may seems to be imbalance to certain group of people. and i am really sorry. i strive to make things right. i am determined to make things better; to make it right. movie marathon with the team turn out to be meaningful. not the movie that was meaningful; but the time spent to trashed things out and openly comment about each other and let each other see our side of the story was indeed momentous. things may not always be what we wanted it to be. but the fact that it is easier to move on now knowing that we are still here to support one another to make things better is far more significant. i had my most memorable leave taken thus far. monday turned dark with a great tuesday sharing...

...crying out loud...

2008-12-14T11:33:00.000-08:00

...my tears came dashing down uncontrollably on the last day of lunch. it was real. i could not hold on to it anymore. it was the first time i cried infront of you. it doesnt mean i am vulnerable; it does not mean i am sad, but it just meant that i really care...

...hooked...

2008-12-09T19:17:00.000-08:00

...blardy hell. i hate the face. i hate the voice. i hate every single thing of it. shit. i need to unhook...

...un-niced words...

2008-12-08T08:15:00.000-08:00

...shoot. been a month since i touch my blog. ever since the *unhappy-state-stay-away-from-asshole-time* the whole of the few months have been quite challenging. very difficult time and indeed i nearly gave up on everything if not because of someone who whispers un-nice words to my ears that got me reflecting from mcd. i persisted thru, i ventured into something that i believe if i am in the right mind would not do. i am just too responsible maybe. but, it does not bring me anywhere other than adding numbers to my age; thats for sure. i need a change in lifestyle.

i need to break free. been a year and three months now. couldnt imagine how much i have persisted thru all these months of the absence of smiley face. i could have just drop all things and left. persistence pushed me thru. responsibility paved my way across. perseverance pushed me forward to achieve more. i still dont feel comfortable with my position right now. i hated all the things now.

i need to unhook from this situation inorder to bring myself to a higher state of more peaceful mind. getting angry at someone is difficult; but not getting angry at someone who irritates you and pisses you off *all the time* is worst. i despise myself now. i need help...

...red alert 3...

2008-11-20T21:06:00.000-08:00

...noisy...

2008-11-20T09:09:00.000-08:00

...stupid shitty idiot...

2008-11-20T01:58:00.000-08:00

...waliao. blardy hell. assholes are on the move again today. dem ass man. fcuk la. i am so sick. sick of last minute items. last minute thing to do. wasting time. wasting energy. fcuking stupid idiot. you know what i want to do to them? fcuk them kaokao. asking me to do some so last minute thing and giving me only like doh less than a day to do it and blardy hell asking me if i can complete it? blardy hell, NO. i cant complete it cos i have so many other deliverables to do. think i am so dem shit free to sit here and listen to music. shitty idiot. stupid idiot. shit. blardy fool...

...so random...

2008-11-17T20:29:00.000-08:00

...arghh...need to think positive. need to plant positive energy. need to be more inspired. arghh so fcuking hate this feelings right now. thoughts are so random. ok something i compiled for my colleagues on the 22nd floor...

...drowning in a glass of whine...

2008-11-17T07:25:00.000-08:00

...alot of people have asked me what happened to me and why am i liddat. why am i behaving liddat. why am i so negative. most asked questions, are you so stressed up with work? are you overloaded? too many things to do huh. fcuk everyone of them.

why is everyone equating overloaded work and too many things with stress? if time can be managed well, i don’t think there is overloading of work. if expectations can be set properly, and work can be allocated accordingly and tasks managed well, i don’t see any reason why people are overloaded. nah, too busy maybe. fcuk them. as if i bother.

what is wrong these people. why ask so many stupid questions. or rather, what is wrong with me. mebbe i am really having alot of problems lately. and maybe i am so stressily sicked and tired. stressed? wakkakaz. stupid word. yea i am so overly sick and stressed over those bastard assholes. those fcuking assholes. with all the assholes that i encounter daily. am i really that negative these days? or am i selective with who i should show asshole face to and who i should not. but a transparent person me, anyone also can see thru me lar. but, on second thought, i dont really care.

alot have also thrown in their share of comments on how i should do this and what i shouldnt be doing. and how i should be doing. frankly speaking, quite a number also highlighted things like, i should plant positive energy, i should think positive, i should make things happen, i should mentor this person, i should remind this and that, i should do all these things. the fact that i am so stress is not because that i should do so many things. i am able to handle all these; even if i dont sleep and work all nite to get things done i am ok. i am not stress. even if i need to do this and do that, i am fine cos its just me who wants to do it. and i am happy doing it. heck i have been doing it for so long and i believe and i know it can be done. i am not stress. my timeline is well managed and my deliverables are fine.

but why am i so fcukingly stressed? its the pressure to make things great and being me, i want to make it exceptionally great. i cant and i wont settle for normal. some has said to me that, quality is very subjective. to me, nope its something that we have set and we already can benchmark the kind of standards that we want. and i know for sure what kind of quality is considered to be good quality. its not in the state of mind. its real and its premier. and that is precisely the reason why am i so stress. at one end worrying about the running of the camp, the concept, the preparation, the inspiring part of the camp, on the other hand i am constantly in a strife of the contemporary and the original part of the camp. and not forgetting the experiential part of it. the network, vibrant and action part is all shown in the participants reaction during the camp. so quality better, higher standards.

imagine being the bapak here; the person who has been around since like the earlier generation of the experiential learning thingy and getting difficult to hear comments about the camp which happens to be your baby, what else should i do. sit down and let other people tell u how you should raise your child? i feel proud of what we have achieved in incovar. i am so darn glad to have brought incovar to where it is today even to the international arena. fcukingly awesome feeling and a great sense of achievement. and i am not going to let it ruin. i am back here to make things happen.

help? of course need alot of help, but i dont really care anymore who wants to help or who wants to tell me what they can or cannot do or telling me what i should do or commenting why is this happening again and why are people liddat. and i am not begging anyone for help. i did and i was laughed at and i was commented on and i was given harsh remarks. and i told myself i am not going to ask these blardy assholes for help anymore. imagine its so hard to ask for help and instead of hoping someone would at least offer a yes, it ended up my face full of salivas and sharp pin needles shot directly into you veins. that was awfully pain. and to think of it, i am not begging anyone for help anymore. i wish people would come and offer help and let me relax a little. but who cares about anyone anyway. the world is losing its heart. so dem blardy rite. who cares of what you do or how you feel anyway. at least those who cares are those who are helping; directly or indirectly with inspiration. and i am thankful that these people still exists…

...absolut mango...

2008-11-16T06:34:00.000-08:00

...last week was really a tiring yet productive weekend. phew! in the morning, send success to lcct as he was on his way to palembang on business trip. since his flight was about noon i told him that i will see him off; but however the line at the check in was super long that i had to make a move first. rushed home packed and went to kuantan to reccee the venue for our 30IDC. took a three hour slow drive to kuantan and checked out the fabulous venue that was loaned to us to run camps. how i wish bgf can have such great venues so that we dont have to be nomads. planned so many activities around the temple, made full use of the temple ground and surveyed every single inch of the venue. excellent outdoor and view especially during sunset.

the next day visited a few other places in kuantan and promoted the camp and rushed home to kl. was driving quite fast at certain places; hopefully wont get saman. reached kl and rushed to pick up jack daniels from the train station to subang: to work on the camp tshirt. kenny picked up tzayeong from kk and we all met in starbucks. had a super duper long discussion about the logo, about jack's proposal and tzayeong's design. phew. totally awesome day and my brain was picked to the maximum. absolutely great to be using my brain power again. the juices are coming back man. celebrated jack's 21st birthday in starbucks with him blowing off the candles and making him shy about the joke we played on him. excellent nite. excellent weekend with lots of ideas for the camp tshirt and a wonderful weekend to be with metzteam again...

...humor...

2008-11-15T09:00:00.000-08:00

...msn buddy is right. its almost so easy to laugh than to fall into a hate crime. its so easy to blabber blabber and laugh laugh out loud. i just need some humour back in my life...

...laughing matter...

2008-11-14T08:15:00.000-08:00

...suddenly my msn buddy told me to inject some positive energy into my blog. and i think he is right. i have not been laughing at all. and i think tzayeong realised that. tonite i laughed the hell out of myself. tzayeong showed me videos he shot with his coursemates molesting each other; darn farnee. i have never laughed so well for a very very long time. these sons make my day...

...exam theme...

2008-11-14T03:42:00.000-08:00

...msn buddy very yau yeng today. breaking convention is something he has been practising. wakakaz. he came up with this new concept, new idea of coming out with a theme for finals. wakakkz. very the yau yeng. this sem's final was formal wear and they all went for their finals wearing their formal wear. wow. pretty much enjoying themselves. and heck, examinations are supposed to be enjoyable. i was taught that if we can enjoy watching tv, enjoy talking, enjoy comp games so much, how come we kenot learn to enjoy exams. just a slight tune of mindset and a bit tweaking the bits and pieces of it. and voila what do u get? a group of fashionable youth trying to make finals enjoyable and happy and lively. next theme? back to secondary school. watch out. let them be the ones to kickstart the new wave in varsity...

...scs @ varsity...

...comparison...

2008-11-14T03:15:00.000-08:00

...i dont like to compare and i dont like being compared with. i create my own standards. heck i have been compared all my life as i grew up in this fcuking world. why compare again when u get a chance to live a life without comparison. i create my own fcuking standards. i dont need to compare with other people. i dont live my life to compare...

...awesome nites...

2008-11-06T07:20:00.000-08:00

...finally is over. at least for today that is. fcuking difficult to work through the slides presentation, balancing between my design job and the fcuking presentation that i have been working on it since a month ago; only using whichever free time i get from my day to day tasks. ya right, can i help in anyway? sincere or just say for the sake of saying. fcuk it. i am so dem stress and please dont add on to the stress problem i already had in me. dont make it boil. fcuk again. i didnt even get a single helping hand until all the blacks and whites have been duplicated. totally 48CB!

presentation went welL i would assume. i think they love me. later we went out to lunch with our partners; had a great time playing catching. reaching back to office; the shoulder was so relaxed. ahhhh, finally the day is over. so glad. ignore every single thing in the afternoon and went on to a dkdc mode.

phew, totally awesome week. with bubs tshirt up, 30idc camp logo launched, camp on target, workshops all planned out; i am sure that i will be making more aspiration for more good deeds to come our way to INCOVAR.

what a fcuking day; however not it comes with tonnes of good memories of visiting old blogging arena right where it started...

...clearing emoself...

2008-11-03T07:11:00.000-08:00

...i was chatting with aarontan thru email and i found that i have 900 over emails that i have corresponded with him. shucks. so many emails. i wonder what have we spoken about for so long. so many things we corresponded on. so many topics we talked. good ones, argumentative ones, pissed off ones, happy ones. no matter what stupid emo fcuking mood i am in, aarontan will always be there to chat with me, aarontan u r the greatest friend...

...worried...

2008-11-02T07:13:00.000-08:00

...i so worry leh...

...good ramen...

2008-11-01T08:00:00.000-07:00

...so many emo blogs. but today, i did not let the emo take over. today jt bought me dinner. so happy. met at starbucks and we adjourned to pyramid. wandered around; looking for nice movie to watch but ended up no movie. went for early dinner and had ramen. whatever jt belanja, i also happy one. ramen was really good. ty wasnt feeling well. had a long chat in starbucks after that. and send jt back. all the way ty was feeling miserable at the back seat. noticed something is wrong. speed like a madman to ty's place and half way through, he vomitted. i feel so bad. i should have known somehting is wrong and send him back first. i should have make my move to send him back when we were in pyramid first. i totally feel so guilty...

...arghhhh...

2008-10-31T08:59:00.000-07:00

...arghhhhh...
...arghhhhh...
...arghhhhh...
...arghhhhh...
...arghhhhh...
...arghhhhh...
...arghhhhh...
...arghhhhh...
...arghhhhh...
...arghhhhh...
i cant stand it anymore

life has been very disturbing lately. every little things pisses me off. its seems that i do not have any control over my life. i hate those idiots who lurks around me. i am so dem piss with those assholes who run around ruining other people's life. basically my red hat is so red today that my face literally turns red whenever i see lurking assholes. my grip tightens. my face turns black. my veins become visible. and my temper becomes the worst you could imagine. just fcuk the hell off my life and leave me alone. i dont want to be disturbed by idiots anymore.

...arghhhh...

...happy hell-o-whine...

2008-10-31T07:55:00.000-07:00

...happy helloweens day. halloween's day is the day to mark the beginning of the season of darkness. the history is quite long, but for sure this halloween or rather HELL-O-WHINE is sure a hell of a whining day for me. and today marks one of the hell day. its like the hell gate just broke open and the anger eating demon just got away. somehow i got the anger eating demon and he has been haunting me all these while. the more i get angrier, the more angry i will be and the bigger the anger eating demon will be. i cant stop it. i cant release it. i hate to be in this situation.

yeap, that was the story about the anger eating demon, the more angry u get the bigger it grows. after so many years with incovar, and incovar is so much part of me right now and is totally the entire of me, i cant let anything go just liddat. i am so involved and i will be. and because of incovar, i do understand for the fact that stupid anger eating demon can be easily get rid off and i think incovar has taught me so much that i dont think anyone would believe me that yes, it is a platform to learn.

of course i did learn alot. and the only reason why i am in such hell of a time right now is because i chose to be in it, and i knw for the fact how much pain it brings me; but i still chose to live in it and experience the pain itself. no i wont commit the stupiest thing of committing suicide which i did long long ago; where thoughts, plan and almost action were there. luckily circumstances did not allow me to do so.

i am now here. and i am alive and i hate to be in this situation. yes i am angry. yes i am dem tulan frustrated si beh kiong kan kau lat. i just want to effed up a little before coming back to the moment...

...signs made visible...

2008-10-30T10:30:00.000-07:00

...so many things has happened and so many not so happy moments went by. the good ones were relived at the edge of the forest and the birthday adventure to go. however things has become abit weird lately and that feeling is super 4896! its a huge mixture of happy and anger at the same time. farnee oxymoronic way of life. at one end i feel extreme joy while on the other end, its all about farking anger killing monster eating up my flesh. 48kiongkan : sometimes dem frustrated over so many things that is happening around here. work life has been quite distracted ever since the return from the land of the rising son. apparently the land of the rising son has caused more stir than stick. it stirred up the emotion, disposition the attitude, releasing the negativity. what more the black color amplified the whole process. i dont feel i comfortable. i dont feel at all at ease. and maybe that was the sign i was looking for. i need some cheers back in life...

...focus...

2008-10-29T02:30:00.000-07:00

...focus : means not distracted by anything but just stare at the notebook screen non-stop, continuously for hours and hours working your ass off; occasionally take a few seconds to put your head back and close ur eyes while taking a deep breath giving an impression that you are sleeping but you are just resting your eyes; skipping lunch; covering your ears with music from nicholas and chatting away in msn most of the time. and i think my wireless mouse batt is running out after being molested by me non-stop for the past 48hours. shucks, no wonder i am not tired focusing. my msn is on. wakakaz...

...happy birthday to me...

2008-10-27T14:55:00.000-07:00

...celebrating birthdays for people is different from being celebrated. eventually this day will come. my birthday. my 21st birthday was celebrated at home with my coursemates and school friends. small gathering only. my 25th birthdays to 28th birthdays were celebrated with hundreds of incovarians; which so happens falls on my birthday. turning 33 i celebrated my birthday having scrumptious buffet dinner with my ex-colleagues from iitc at marche; with calvin and werntien and rachel and kevin and loon and gang. it was wonderful; after which we adjourned to laundry bar. they are all special because of the special bonding of people. but never i have such a beatifully planned birthday by xiaothoong working together with tzayeong to come out with something so amazing. no more tears to flow down my chin already. just eternal happiness. they are just my amazingly beautiful kids...

...happy birthday to me...

...birthday adventure...

2008-10-27T13:30:00.000-07:00

...my weekend runaway aka birthday adventure was excellent. i outdo myself and challenged myself to the limit, had the most touching moment, wonderful birthday celebration at the edge of the forest and with tears of gratitude and appreciation all thank to my dear sons who took all the time and effort to make my birthday happen; hiding it away from me and making it a shioking surprise, touching deep into my heart that a few tears of joy dropped from my little japanese eyes on the the piece of cake they custom made and desgin for me. that was the best birthday surprise someone have ever did for me. indeed something that i will never want to forget.

ty also challenged me to hike to the waterfall at the edge of the forest; not giving a dem on helping this old bapak thru the slopes and across the fiery water. the hike down the scorching hills of sasanarakkha, the mud covered slopes was really challenging; but the hike up again was really a torture. nonetheless the pool of icy cold water just beneath the waterfalls of sasanarakkha : priceless. my 2 sons have helluva great time jumping up and down the water; pretending to be the next bond while this old bapak just sat by the edge of the waterfalls enjoying the dash of cold icy water on my body. that was my really first time outdoing myself to such extent. this ty and dan sure knows how to make this old bapak gatal.

the birthday adventure did not end there; but continued to penang. with no transport back, no place to stay nothing plan in mind we took a trip up to penang island. hoping that things will turn out good, and it turned out well. dinner had sotong goreng which was fantastic; my favourite, stayed at ty's grandma resort : totally awesome as it comes with laundry and ironing service and tvb drama, supper at the prominent nasi kandar shop : the kandar rice intro by ty was simply astonishing. slept really late and woke up really late for brunch and explore the hills of war museum at maung rock enjoyed a scrumptious steamboat dinner where ty created a new style of steamboat and came out with some creative ways of eating steamboat and had a long journey by bus back to kl at a totally odd hour.

one word sums it all : farkingly awesome and hawt birthday adventure planned by ty and dan!. i am so happy...happy birthday to me...

...my hawt custom made birthday cake...

...daniel, me and ty trying to save the rubber trees...

...wireless@SG...

2008-10-24T10:31:00.000-07:00

...22-oct to24-oct. wireless@SG. great to be away for a short period of time...

i have a dem fcuked up week that i almost committed a huge crime of twisting blardy idiot heads off the neck!...

...steady...

2008-10-21T08:55:00.000-07:00

...a dem fcuking miserable day with full of shits and undeniably fcuked up heat that flows in the datastream made up of binary digits. it is officially declared as the fcuked day since the day i used so many of this fcuked words. been a while.

however fcuked up the jamming in the flow of the streams of binary digits, it ended well tonite; having had a wonderful dinner with my "cousin" and chatting with andrew online; he is getting married this november the week b4 wacana and 2 weeks incovar - been a while i seen him online and i promise to yam seng with him! STEADY!...

...japan adventure part 2...

2008-10-19T06:13:00.000-07:00

...the journey continues...

...continuing on my japan trip. we extended our trip for another 4 days. the next 4 days were extremely tiring where my heels cracked and couldnt walk properly. shucks it hurts dem alot and i was like limping all the way. suzy become our nurse and her small little bag has the most complete set of firstaid.

our first stop was hakodate - south of hokkaido about 5.5 hours from sapporo. initially planned to cabut from dinner early and take a nite bus down to hakodate; however too many nice pictures for me to take and many of my colleagues were swinging on a high note most probably due to the after effects of fermented yeast that they drank and rolling lights of the hall. the nite after annual dinner, we all took a 15 minutes walk to shusukino street for food and to check out the happening nite life again. the very late 1am walk was cold. only 10degrees and me walking like a si beh yau yeng lan si without jacket! but of course the nite life was indeed happening.

travelling to hakodate took us 5.5 hours by bus and when we reached there its almost over lunch and luckily the market was still open. we shopped around the market place in hakodate and the scene was tremendous. beautiful site with all the big huge crabs with prices more cheaper than a melon, scallops all over scattered on the tables. best. food were good. ramen become our diet all the time. slurping the noodles become our favourite past time. walked around the market and later took a slow stroll towards mt hakodate - the ultimate point of where we want to go. on the way there we walked past lots of shopping areas and found a 1050yen shop where everything goes for 1050yen. saw this really cool gift for daniel and instantly i thought this is so for him. and i got it! and saw another gift so right for joey; my colleague and we got it too. dem yau yeng shop. and i am so sure daniel will love it. and of course the ultimate of the ultimate thing to see in hakodate is the nite view. mt hakodate is voted to be the world 3rd most beautiful nite view. simply astonishing. wow. no words i can find to describe the view but just stood there and stare at the view. maginificent. we then took a nite bus back to sapporo and when we arrive in sapporo, we flew to kansai for our next part of our journey in central japan.

...view from the top of mt hakodate...

arrived in kansai just after lunch and we made our way and got a one day jr pass that allow us to travel between osaka, kyoto, kobe, all the way to himeji area. suddenly we got the urge to move to kobe. quickly we threw our luggage in the backpackers and took the train to kobe. and what do we do in kobe? eat kobe beef! 100gm cost us 3000yen. and it really melts in your mouth; because 100gm is literally so small, it melts in your mouth! duh!

...night view in kobe...

then we took the train to osaka kononya to meet the other team there for supper but they mistaken tennojin station as d'only train station in osaka. at least we stepped foot there in osaka. i have personally been there the previous time i was in japan where we shopped at shinsaibashi; shop and shop and shop! so its ok we didn really explore osaka. since it was getting late we took a train back to kyoto. took early nap and woke up to a fresh new day in kyoto.

rented lonely planet on kyoto to help guide our way; we made our journey on bus in kyoto. in my mind i have already planned the few places i would like to visit in kyoto: kiyomizudera temple which was built over 1000 years ago without any nails. we entered thru the nio-mon (gate of the deva kings) and made our way into the temple. then we passed the sanju-no-to (3-storied pagoda) and headed into the shrine to see the kiyomizu-style kannon. then we strolled around the temple and later headed to the otowa-no-taki (sound of feathers waterfall) and we drank the pure water from the waterfall. this is a must go and i am glad i made it there. of course all the way up to the temple and down from the temple are full with shoppings and i believe there is where my dear fren jinhwa found the ultimate gift i want to get from japan - shuriken! yay. found that shop and instantly hooked on their vast display of shuriken and some traditional japanese samurai swords.

...kiyomizudera temple...

next on the list was nishiki market. its a food heaven in kyoto. so many food. so many things to choose from. so many things to buy and 100yen shop beconme our favourite hangout place. since it was getting late we headed over to ginkakujin temple and the path of philosophy. when we reached there it was too late. closed at 5pm. and mind you the sky has become dark at 5 and nite life has just begun. next stop; gion and potoncho. fuiyoh another nite life of japan. i so love walking the streets of japan at nite; watching people, snapping pictures and experiencing the nite wonders of kyoto. my kyoto trip was extremely tired and fun.

...path of philosophy...

travelling by bus was fun. trying to figure out what bus to take to where and to stop in a city where nobody speaks english but everything is controlled by modern technology. with a map in hand, a lonely planet book on another, we travelled the miles of kyoto and made our way to many happening places around the old city.

its a city with a mixture of the old and the new; land of a thousand temples; each located at a strategic location; some hidden in between the modern architecture; women dressed in geisha outfits and mostly in business suit having a drink in the pub and enjoying yakatori before heading home. yea, typically it is how exactly the tv shows it to be but being there and actually walking the streets in potoncho and gion makes all the difference. though we were not living the life of a typical japanese but we had fun travelling and taking the bus; looking at a weird machine infront of all bus stops to check for the arrival of the next bus and eating like a japanese makes all the difference.

heck, i look like a japanese with my small eyes and my bandana on and my samurai style hair thanks to tzayeong my personal stylist, people did mistaken me for a japanese. i had great fun in japan. and i really want to go back there again. this time, its gonna be well planned and i will be well anticipating for the trip. hiroshima; next stop!...

...view of kamogawa (rises from mt sajigikatake)...

...kyoto tower...

...nite view of potoncho...